Journey to the East
by Starr Dust
Summary: After finding two magical orbs, a young man named Bulma sets out on a quest to gather them all, only to discover that he'll need a little help from a monkey tailed girl. AU, Gender Swap
1. Bulma and Goku

**Rating:** PG-13

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.

**Warnings:** Gender swap, AU, humor, mild language

**Author's Notes:** As you've probably already guessed this is a re-telling of Dragonball. _Some_ characters genders will be changed. I only plan on going through the first saga, but depending on how things go (meaning both reviews and real life situations) I _might_ consider doing more.

**Chapter One** Bulma and Goku

Bulma sighed as he stepped out of his car to survey his surroundings. The sound of birds chirping near by, the mountainous terrain, and the lush greenery that greeted him at every turn where starting to drive the young man crazy. He'd barely even begun this quest yet he was already yearning for the comforts of the city. Yet the desire to complete his self appointed mission drove him onward.

Flicking a strand of blue hair out of his face, he glanced down at his radar and watched the little green lights flicker in time with the familiar "peep peep" chime of his detector. "Got to be around... here..." he muttered to himself as he placed a slightly frustrated hand on his hip. "Or maybe a little more to the west?"

He sighed as he slid back into the driver's seat of his vehicle. "Anyway, I'm close," he told himself as he turned the key and started the car.

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The bright smile lighting Son Goku's features practically spread from ear to ear across the young girl's face. She felt quite proud of herself, considering the size of her catch. She chuckled, giving the large fish an extra tug as she continued to drag the creature behind her.

"What a catch! What a catch!" she chanted gleefully to herself.

It was then that a strange noise caught her attention. Turning her head towards it, she was stunned to see a strange looking creature coming straight at her at a great speed. She barely had time to react as the monster swerved, mere inches from colliding into her startled form.

Bulma gasped as he recovered from slamming down on his breaks to avoid hitting that weird looking kid. However, shock quickly turned to irritation as he climbed out of his window to yell at the child. "Watch where you're going!" he shouted indignantly.

Goku recovered from her shock as soon as the monster spoke. She instantly shifted so that the fish was safely behind her and away from her attacker. "So, a monster huh? Trying to take my catch from me?" Before the weird looking creature could respond, Goku grabbed it and lifted the beast over her head. "Well you're not gonna get away with my fish!" With that, she hefted the massive creature, sending it flying a few feet away.

Bulma screeched as the strange kid sent his car flying. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

Pulling out her staff, Goku made ready for the monster's counter attack. "Now c'mon and fight!" she shouted, raising her staff above her head in a challenging gesture. She watched in mild surprise as some... _thing_ emerged from within the monster. The other being was clearly very shook up as it clutched its head and crawled out from within the beast. "Yesh," Goku exclaimed, "now a hideous demon emerges from the monster!"

Being a city boy and completely unused to dealing with crazy, car throwing jungle girls, Bulma did the first thing that anyone in his situation would have done; he pulled out his gun and opened fire on the wacko.

Goku was suddenly flung backward as something small made contact with her face. She landed on her back with an "ouf" and instantly cradled her throbbing head in her hands. "Ow!" she groaned, "What are you? A witch!?"

The teen stared dumbfounded at the girl's reaction to being shot in the face. His whole body began to shake as his mind tried to process this information. _I just shot that kid... and... and..._ "Wh-what are you!?" he stammered. "Why aren't you dead!?"

The girl scoffed as she hopped back onto her feet, taking up a fighting stance. "Ha! Idiot, do you think _you_ can hurt me? With little owies like that!?" Raising her staff high above her head, Goku made ready to charge at the demon. "Now, prepare to _die_!"

"W-wait a minute!" Bulma said quickly, before the wild girl could think to actually continue her assault. "I'm not a demon! I'm a human!"

The words worked as Goku paused mid swing. "A human?" she repeated. "Really?"

"Yes silly," Bulma assured, trying his best to put on a friendly demeanor in front of the crazy girl. "I'm just like you. Take a gander."

"Don't make a move!" Goku ordered.

"Not very trusting are you?" he grumbled dryly.

The girl either didn't hear his words or choose to ignore them as she circled him a few times, checking him from top to bottom. "You're kinda like me," Goku began, furrowing her brow in confusion. "But there's something _different_. You seem kinda... flatter and leaner."

"Well _duh_, brainac!" he blurted out, no longer able to keep the condescending tone out of his voice. "That's because you're a grubby little jungle girl and I'm a hunky boy."

The poor girl's eyes must have nearly tripled in size at _his_ words. "B-boy!?" she stuttered. "You mean... _male_?"

"Uh, yeah! Surely you've seen a _boy_ before!"

"Not since my Grampa died, and you sure don't look like him."

Bulma narrowed his eyes in annoyance at her comment. "Probably because I'm not _old_."

"Well," Goku continued, once again ignoring Bulma's sarcastic tone, "my dead Grampa always told me 'if you ever meet a boy, treat 'im right.'"

The young man smirked as he stood up a bit straighter and brushed his blue hair out of his face. "That's some pretty good advice," he said, puffing out his chest a bit. "Don't you think you should get started?"

"So boys don't have tails, huh?"

Bulma raised a questioning eyebrow at the girl's odd statement. As Goku started to inspect his rear, he suddenly caught a glimpse of a brown rope attached to the girl's back side. _What a goon!_ Bulma thought, fighting to hold back a fit of laughter. _She probably thinks wearing that phony tail makes her look hot._

Quickly loosing interest in trying to find the teenager's nonexistent tail, Goku turned her attention to the boy's upturned car. "So what is that monster anyway?" she asked, pointing in the car's direction. "How'd you catch it?"

Bulma sighed, folding his arms over his chest. This kid just kept getting weirder and weirder. "It's called a car," he explained. "People make them."

Without another word, the girl hopped on top of the vehicle. "So this is a car?" Goku said as she inspected the new discovery. "I've heard of 'em in stories. It looks tough, but it ain't much." Bulma watched with decreasing interest as the girl's attention turned towards him, her face lighting up as if she was suddenly hit with an idea. "Whoa wait," she said quickly as if Bulma were about to interrupt her. "Are you from 'civilization'?"

"Well, let's just say I'm from way far _west_," he said, deciding to go for the _very_ simple answer.

Goku hopped off of the car and went to gather her catch of the day. She turned and smiled at Bulma, and for the faintest of seconds the city boy was taken in by her naive charm. "Come over to my place," she offered. "I heard boys like to eat, so I'll feed you."

Bulma chuckled softly at the girl's response. "Sounds like you'll make a great wife some day."

That said, Bulma followed the wild girl into the jungle towards her home. He studied her carefully as she dragged the giant fish behind her. She was cute, but not in the way that he liked. By her looks and height, Bulma could instantly tell that she was _way_ too young for him. Although, the possibility that she might grow up into quite the hottie, under the right circumstances, did briefly cross his mind, it didn't take much for Bulma to file Goku into the "no" category of his brain.

"You're pretty strong for a girl," Bulma observed thoughtfully.

Goku giggled at his comment. "Grampa trained me good!" she said simply.

The boy smiled as an idea began to form in his head. _She may be a freak, but I could probably use her strength._

After a few minutes of walking the two finally reached what Bulma assumed was Goku's home. To call the place tiny was an understatement. He couldn't begin to imagine how the poor kid could live in the small, one room shack and for a second it made him feel a small bit of pity towards the girl.

"Not much for home repair are you?" Bulma quipped, trying to easy away the sudden uncomfortable feeling.

"Wait here a sec," she said as she flung open the door to the shack and went inside. Goku ran over to her Grampa happily, clasping her hands together in prayer. "Grampa look!" she shouted cheerfully. "It's a boy! A human boy in our house!"

Bulma felt his heart skip a beat as he stared at the orb resting on top of a small pillow in front of Goku. "That's it!" he blurted out excitedly. "The Dragon Ball!" Without a second thought, Bulma rushed over to the table and gathered the small orange ball into his hands. He allowed a slightly unmanly squeal of delight to escape his lips as he held the ball. "I _knew_ it! My detector was right _on_!"

The young man was pulled out of his cloud of joy when Goku suddenly tried to snatch the ball away from him. "Hey! Let go of Grampa!" she cried in displeasure. "That was his last possession! Even _boys_ can't touch it!"

Too elated by his find, Bulma willingly put the Dragon Ball back where he'd found it before reaching into his hip pouch. "Well I guess I have to let you in on my little secret," he said, still unable to wipe the grin off his face. "Ta dah!" he cheered as he pulled out two similar orange balls, the only difference being that while the one Goku claimed to be her "Grampa" had four stars in the center, the two in Bulma's hands had two and five stars respectively.

"You have _two_ Grampas!" she blurted out, clearly surprised to see the matching balls.

"No, no," he corrected, "they're called 'Dragon Balls.'" Bulma carefully explained how he had discovered the first ball in his cellar. The discovery had sparked his curiosity and prompted the young man to do some research on the strange object. He told Goku that there were seven balls in total and when they were all gathered together, a dragon would appear to grant the gatherer one wish.

The young girl stared at Bulma in awe, obviously captivated by the tale. "That's awesome!" she exclaimed.

Bulma smiled, this was his favorite part of the story. "The last person who collected the balls became a king, and while that does sound pretty appealing, _I've_ got an even better wish in mind." A slight blush crept on to his cheeks as his eyes glazed over in complete and utter joy. "I plan on asking for the perfect babe of a girlfriend," he said dreamily not noticing the blank stare on Goku's face. "So that's the deal," he said, snapping out of his dream world. "Now hand over the four star ball."

Goku frowned at the boy's out stretched hand. His story might have been impressive, but it was going to take a lot more than that for the girl to part with her Grampa. "No way!" she practically cried. "This is the only Grampa I've got left!"

The young man felt his face slowly turn red with annoyance at the girl's reaction. After all that she _still_ didn't want to donate the ball to his worthy cause? "Come on, you cheap bitch!" Bulma blurted out. "What are you going to do with it anyway!?"

The girl's only response was to stick out her tongue at him.

By this point, Bulma was practically seething. A small part of him felt bad for the kid, but a bigger part of him felt that the Dragon Ball belonged to _him_. After all, _he_ was the one on the quest.

Just then, Bulma was struck with a brilliant idea. "How about this," he offered, "you can help me with my quest." The girl raised her eyebrows at him, suddenly interested in what Bulma had to say. He had her. "Your Grampa did tell you to be nice to boys, right? And well, since you're the fighting type, this'll be a great opportunity for you to get some training. So what do you say? Deal?"

For a moment, Goku merely stared at him, clutching the ball protectively in her hands. "Okay," she said at length, "but I'm not giving you Grampa!"

Bulma gave his most winning smile, greatly relieved that the girl was giving into him. "That's fine," he said cheerily, "I'll just borrow it at the very end, 'kay?"

"Okay."

He gave Goku a disarming smile as she gathered her belongings, conveniently forgetting to tell the girl that once a wish was granted, the Dragon Balls scatter to different ends of the Earth. _Well, what she don't know, won't hurt her. Besides, Jungle Woman will make the_ perfect _bodyguard._

Bulma gave out a little cheer once Goku had gathered all she needed for the quest. "Alrightie! Let the adventure begin!" he paused to dig around in his hip pouch for his capsule case. "You wrecked my car, so I'll just have to take out another one." A moment past and he suddenly realized he had no idea what to call the girl. "By the way, what's your name?"

"Me?" she asked, slightly startled. "I'm Goku. Son Goku. How 'bout you?"

Bulma froze, capsule case in hand. He always _hated_ this part whenever he met new people. He felt his face turn a deep red when he realized that his name had been on display on the back of his jersey the entire time, so there was no way he could lie and give a false name. "I'm... Bulma," he admitted quietly.

A moment of silence past between the two. "Bulma?" Goku repeated, briefly wondering if it was a joke. Before the boy could say anything, Goku erupted into a fit of laughter. "Doesn't that mean 'Bloomers'?" she asked between giggles.

"Shut up!" he bellowed. "It's a family thing! I didn't pick it!" He continued to seethe and glare daggers at the little twerp, but they had no effect as Goku practically rolled around on the floor, laughing her head off.

"Bloomers!" she laughed. "Bloomers!"

"It's not that funny!" he screeched, but on the inside he felt like crying. What kind of name was "Bulma" anyway? And for a _boy_ no less! He had hated the name for as long as he could remember and was certain he'd cried the day his parents had cursed him with that it. _Little brat! This is why I hate kids._ Doing his best to shrug off the girl's obnoxious laughter, Bulma pulled out a number nine capsule from his case.

"Stand back," he said as he pushed Goku out of the way just as he clicked and tossed the capsule a few feet away. With a loud "BOM" a cloud of smoke appeared in front of them. Once it cleared, the sight of a brand new motorcycle greeted the two.

Bulma smiled in satisfaction while Goku trembled with fear. She had never seen such witch craft! Bulma really was a witch. "I knew it! You really are a witch!"

"Give it a rest Jungle Woman!" Bulma scoffed as he climbed on the bike. "_Everybody_ in the city has Hoi-Poi capsules! Now swing your monkey butt up here."

Hesitantly, Goku did as she was told. Without warning, Bulma kicked the motorcycle to life and the two drove off into the sunset, neither fully prepared for what lay ahead of them.

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**AN:** Before anyone asks, I _have_ heard of the fic called "Switch." In fact, I've read both versions of it. Part of the reason I'm writing this story is because I was disheartened that the author never continued, so I'm doing my own version.


	2. Balls

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 2** Balls

A broad smile was plastered across Bulma's face as he drove along the dirt road. Three balls down and four to go. They were practically half way there! At long last, he'd have his dream girl! Not that he _really_ needed a mystical dragon to find him a girlfriend. After all, he was a total stud. It was just that... well he didn't really know why girls were so put off by him. Surely they were all just far too intimidated by his hunky exterior and his worldly charms. Yes, that must be it. Truly, beauty is a curse.

"I'm starvin'!" Goku announced, pulling Bulma back to reality.

He frowned, noticing the slowly setting sun. "It _is_ gettin' dark," he mused. "Let's stop for the night."

Goku hopped off as soon as the motorcycle had stopped. "I get the soft leaves for my bed!" she announced happily. She was really happy to finally have some company. It had been so long since she'd had someone to sleep with.

Bulma wrinkled his nose in distaste at her words. "Yeah right!" he scoffed. "Like _I'm_ sleeping outside. I've got something better in mind."

Goku gasped in surprise. "You're not going to pop a house outta one of those what-cha-ma-call-its, are you?"

As if in response, Bulma pulled out his capsule and, once he found some nice level ground, tossed it as far from them as he could. With a _BOM_ a house appeared. Bulma smiled as he strode over towards the capsule house. "Ah, how lovely," he chuckled as Goku continued to gape and tremble outside. "Cold enough to come in yet?" he called after her, slowly getting annoyed with her technological naivete.

With a bit of hesitation, Goku slowly approached the house. Once inside, Bulma flicked on the lights and Goku gasped in awe. "You are a witch!" she gasped. "You turned night into day!"

Now it was Bulma's turn to be surprised. "You haven't even heard of _lights_? You really do have a long way to go cave woman." On a whim, Bulma strode over to the television and clicked it on. "Watch this," he smirked as the screen turned on, displaying a man singing and playing the guitar. As expected, Goku was thrown for a loop by this new display of technology. She instantly approached the screen and began tapping on the glass, trying her best to free the man "trapped" inside.

Bulma allowed himself a laugh at the naive girl's expense, but it was short lived as he soon caught a whiff of some foul stench. He sniffed the air a few times before he finally realized that the smell was coming from Goku. _How did I miss that?_ he wondered, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the odor _The fresh air must have masked her stench or something!_ "Ugh, you're stinking up the joint!" Bulma said out loud. "You're taking a bath before we eat."

Goku turned and gave Bulma a blank stare. "'Bath'?" she repeated. "What's a 'bath'?"

The teenager nearly lost it at that question. He could forgive not knowing about capsules and lights, he could even go easy on her for not knowing about _boys_, but the mere fact that the girl didn't know what a bath was, was enough to make Bulma flinch away from her. "Ewww! You've got to be kidding!"

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_I can't believe I'm doing this,_ Bulma groused as he prepared the small tub. He'd had plenty of fantasies about bathing his dream girl, but he never would have pictured himself having to scrub down some mangy little jungle runt. "C'mere Son-kun," he grumbled. "Let's get this over with."

He didn't know why he was so shocked when Goku obediently approached him, stark naked and wearing nothing but a confused look on her face. Bulma felt his whole face turn blood red at the sight. As much as it pained him to admit it, this was the first time he had ever seen a girl naked in real life. Goku was still quite small and had a good deal of baby fat, but her curves were clearly starting to show and her small breasts were much more noticeable now that she was rid of her baggy clothing. However, none of this changed the fact that Bulma now felt quite dirty and would be needing a bath himself once he was done with Goku.

"What should I do next?" Goku asked innocently.

"Just get in the tub squirt," he directed, trying his best to avoid eye contact.

Goku climbed in the tub like she was told and soon found herself being sprayed with warm water. The sensation was both surprising and relaxing. She merely stood in the "tub" as Bulma rubbed some funny smelling goo into her hair. "What's that?" Goku asked as she brushed the tips of her fingers into her hair to feel the bubbles forming on top of her head. "It feels funny."

"Oh be quiet!" Bulma ordered. "This whole process would be a lot easier if you just didn't speak for a while." With that, the young man once again began spraying her with water, rinsing away the bubbles. Goku watched as he grabbed a long wooden brush, one hand loosely holding her tail. "I can't believe you actually attached this phony tail to your butt!"

The girl blinked in confusion as she turned to look over her shoulder at the boy. "What phony tail?"

Bulma rolled his eyes in annoyance at her. "Just take it off," he instructed, still not looking her in the eye. "It's in the way." He then began to tug at her tail, causing Goku's body to tingle with sudden numbness.

"Ow!" she exclaimed. "Don't pull!" Wiggling her tail away from Bulma's grip, she grabbed the brush and began to scrub her backside by herself. "I can wash my _own_ butt."

Bulma's eyes tripled in size as he watched Goku's little monkey tail move on it's own. It suddenly clicked in his head that that was no phony tail! It was _real_! The screech that he unleashed was enough to shake the entire capsule house as he scrambled away from the freaky girl. "Y-you r-really h-h-have a t-t-tail," he stammered once his brain was able to process thought again.

By that point of course, Goku had already rinsed herself off and gotten out of the tub. She gave him a puzzled look at his obvious statement. "I didn't think you'd be surprised," Goku mused as she dried her wild mane with a towel. Her face turned a bit more serious as realization slowly dawned on her. "Oh. You don't have one, huh? I guess only girls have them."

The teen raised his eyebrows in surprise at this new bit of information. _Girls have tails? I didn't know that! But it's not like I've ever seen a girl naked before. Wait a minute! If they did have tails, then what about all the chicks in my magazines!?_ "G-girls don't have tails!" he announced finally. "N-none of the ones _I've_ seen pictures of did!"

"They don't?" Goku wondered briefly before continuing to pull on the rest of her clothes. "Oh well. Who cares." There was a short pause before Goku looked over at Bulma curiously. "Then what is the difference between boys and girls?"

Bulma felt his face flush. Why the hell was this happening to him? He sure hoped he wouldn't have to explain the Birds and the Bees to this kid. "Well, let's just say that boys have a little something... extra," he explained, making a vague gesture towards his crotch. "In the front."

Once he had said that, he noticed the now fully clothed Goku staring intensely at his crotch. Before he could ask her what was wrong, the girl reached over and --

_Pat pat._

"You're right! You _do_ feel different down there."

Bulma stiffened, suddenly feeling completely violated. "_Don't do that_!" he bellowed in out rage.

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Goku smiled happily as she bounced on Bulma's "futon." She'd never felt something so soft and comfortable before. She had a feeling she was going to really like sleeping on it. "This 'futon' thing is going to be fun," she told Bulma between bounces. "And I haven't slept with anybody in way too long!"

Bulma, now dressed in a plain white t-shirt and a pair of draw string sweat pants, frowned at the girl's words. There was no way he was sharing a bed with a _kid_. Even after taking a nice long bath, he still felt completely dirty about having to run his hands over the girl's naked body. "Dream on kid," he announced grumpily. "Here's your blanket and here's the floor."

A disappointed look suddenly crossed Goku's face as she stopped herself mid bounce. "We're sleeping apart?"

"Well duh!" he said flatly as he made out Goku's bed. "I'm not going to be accused of being some sort of pervert!"

Goku pouted as she hopped off of the futon and on to the floor. "But I always use to use Grampa's crotch as a pillow," she explained, completely oblivious to Bulma's outraged look. "It was so soft and comfy-"

"What did I just say about looking like a pervert!?" he shouted before going over to the bathroom to brush his teeth. This kid was driving him nuts! He needed to change the subject and quick. "So it was just you and your grandfather, right? What happened to your parents?"

"I dunno," Goku said as she crawled into her makeshift bed. "I guess they abandoned me in the mountains when I was a baby. Then my Grampa found me and decided to raise me."

Bulma frowned in confusion. The way Goku had said that was as if she were just talking about the weather. It amazed him how she could be so nonchalant about being abandoned. "They must have abandoned you because you have a tail," he mused.

"Were you abandoned too?" she asked curiously.

"N-no!" Bulma said quickly. "I'm just on summer vacation from school and I'm taking advantage of it. I only have thirty days left to find the rest of the Dragon Balls. I don't have all year like you." Turning around to glance over his shoulder, Bulma was offended to find that Goku had actually had the nerve to fall asleep while he was talking. "Little brat," he growled. "If you're going to ask a question at least stay awake for the answer!"

Shortly after that, Bulma crawled into bed himself, dreaming about strawberries and bathing beautiful women.

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**AN:** I know that a lot of people think that the suffix "kun" is used only in reference to males, but it can also apply to girls. It's just more commonly used in regards to boys. Besides, I just really like how Bulma calls everyone "kun", especially the nickname "Son-kun" so I wanted to keep that.


	3. The Turtle Hermit

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 3** The Turtle Hermit

Being a teenage boy, one of the things Bulma loved most was sleeping in. Unfortunately for the city boy, Goku had never heard of sleeping late and as soon as the sun had peaked over the mountain tops, the country girl was up and full of energy. Bulma, on the other hand, was still half asleep. The young man grumbled to himself groggily as he ran a hand through his tangled blue locks.

"Aren't you ready yet?" Goku whined. She'd been ready to get back to the hunt since dawn. "You're so slow! What're you, a turtle?"

Bulma frowned, waking up slightly from the insult. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" he growled. "_You're_ the one who wakes up too early! And besides, what's with the familiar tone? I'm older and much more mature than you! You should be calling me 'Bulma-san'!"

Goku raised an eyebrow at the boy's words. She had never really been one for such proper speech.

"I need coffee," Bulma announced, reaching for the freshly brewed pot. "Want some?"

"That bitter soup?" Goku asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste at the thought of the strange black liquid Bulma had tried to feed her last night. It had become pretty clear to her then that the boy was definitely not a good cook. "No thanks. What I need is exercise." With that, the young girl headed outside to get in some training while she waited for Bulma to wake up.

Scanning the yard, Goku spotted a large, rounded rock sticking half way out of the ground. Heading towards it, she lifted the boulder into her strong arms and crushed it with her bare hands. Satisfied that the rock was now a pile of rubble, she moved on to do the same with similar stone. Only this time, the rock yelped in surprise as she lifted it in the air.

"What? What?" the boulder said.

Goku felt her eyes widen as she placed the rock back on the ground, only to discover that it wasn't really a rock, it was a turtle!

"Dear me, what a fright," the turtle gasped once it was safely back on the ground.

"B-Bulma?" Goku stuttered, still in shock. "Y-y-you really _did_ turn into a turtle!"

As if right on cue, Bulma choose then to poke his head out from inside the capsule house. He had heard Goku blathering something and decided to check out what was going on. "What are you blabbering now?" he asked just as his eyes caught sight of a rather puzzled looking sea turtle. "What's with the turtle?"

"It's not you?" Goku asked, still confused.

"Of course not!" he yelled, crossing his arms over his chest indignantly.

"Pardon me," the turtle began politely, "but might I trouble you for a bucket of salt water?" Bulma blinked in surprise, but obliged the turtle's request, presenting him with a bucket full of salt water, which he drank happily. "Thank you, thank you so much," he said gratefully. "I should explain. You see... I'm a Umigame."

The young man felt his eye twitch in frustration at the animal's obvious statement. "Well of course you are!"

"I went gathering mushrooms," he continued, ignoring Bulma's rude out burst, "and, well, I took a wrong turn. I've been wandering for the past year, hoping to find my way back to the sea."

"But you're going in exactly the wrong direction," Bulma explained. "And you've gone a long, _long_ way..." The youth went inside for a moment to grab a map before returning. He flipped through a few pages before landing on what he was looking for. "The sea's to the south," he announced. "About one hundred and twenty kilometers."

"One hundred twenty?" Umigame repeated, obviously distraught by this piece of information.

Goku had listened to the turtle's story and had felt her heart go out to him. She wanted to help and she knew exactly how to do that. "Do you want _us_ to take you to that 'sea' thingy?" Goku offered generously.

The sea turtle's face instantly lit up at the girl's offer. "Would you really?" he asked hopefully.

"Are you nuts!" Bulma cut in, bursting Umigame's bubble of joy. "We've only got thirty days left! We can't be wasting time on turtles!"

"You were wasting time on sleeping," Goku pointed out suddenly.

"It's not our responsibility!" Bulma countered. "We have our _own_ quest!"

Goku frowned, irritated by the boy's selfishness. "Then I'll go without you!" she said, lifting Umigame onto her back, knowing already that they'd move faster if she carried him.

"Fine, do whatever you want!" Bulma huffed. "But don't you ever darken my door again!"

The girl didn't bother to wait around while Bulma continued to rant and make faces at her. As soon as the turtle was secured on her back she took off.

"I mean it!" Bulma continued as the two continued on their way. "Never show your face again! Who needs you." As soon as the pair were gone from his sight, Bulma realized something important. "Dammit, I never took her Dragon Ball away from her. So if she never comes back..." Bulma's words slowly trailed off as he glanced over towards the horizon to see a rather large tyrannosaurus stomp by while two pterodactyls flew by.

The young man instantly swallowed his pride, pulling out a capsule bike and heading off to catch up with Goku and Umigame. "Hey wait up!" Bulma called once the two were in view. "You can't do this without me!"

Goku stopped in her tracks at the sound of Bulma's voice. Needless to say, she wasn't surprised to see him again so soon. "What about never showing my face again?" she asked.

"I'm just to noble for my own good, okay?"

Goku laughed as she continued on her journey while Bulma rode beside her. "You got scared on your own, huh?"

Bulma blushed fiercely at her comment. He was more than a bit ashamed of having to rely on a _girl_ to protect him and keep him safe, but Goku was no ordinary girl. If anyone could keep him alive, it was her. "Shows what you know!" he said, trying to cover up his embarrassment. "All you are to me is a Dragon Ball!"

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It didn't take very long before the trio eventually reached the beach. Umigame was moved to the point of tears at finally being returned to the ocean. Goku on the other hand, ever the naive little jungle girl, was simply impressed by the vast amount of water spread out in front of them.

"Whoa!" she cried. "What a wide river!"

Bulma didn't even bother to correct her. He was starting to get tired of her lack of knowledge about _everything_.

"How can I ever thank you?" Umigame asked, the tears still in his eyes. "Such generosity must not go unrewarded." An idea suddenly came to the sea creature as he made his way into the water. "Wait there for just a little bit," he called from over his shoulder, "and I'll bring you a reward."

"Reward?" Goku repeated, not sure what the turtle was talking about.

"I can't wait to see a turtle's idea of a reward," Bulma muttered as he watched the animal disappear into the sea.

-+-+-+-

Not surprisingly, it took a while for the sea turtle to return with their alleged reward. Bulma did his best to ignore some of the stupider things that Goku uttered, while Goku did her best to ignore Bulma's whining. At last, Bulma spotted something heading their way.

"What's that?" he asked, bringing Goku's attention towards the sea.

"It's the turtle alright," Goku confirmed. "But there's somebody ridin' him."

Bulma strained his eyes, unable to make out the shape at all. "You can actually _see_ that far?" he asked her, but Goku didn't bother to answer his question.

Before they knew it, the turtle had made it to the beach, with a strange looking old man riding on his back. "Sorry to keep you waiting," Umigame apologized.

"Aloha!" The old man greeted before hopping off the turtle's shell. He was wearing a tropical styled shirt, a pair of shorts, flip flops, sunglasses, and a large turtle shell on his back. The frail looking old man hobbled towards them, using an unusual looking staff to walk. "So you helped my friend here?"

"Who are you old timer?" Goku asked rudely.

The old man straightened a bit, a serious look crossing his wrinkled old features. "I? I am Kame Sennin! The Turtle Hermit," he announce proudly. He turned and looked towards Umigame. "They both helped you?"

"Only the girl, I'm afraid," Umigame corrected.

Kame Sennin approached the young girl. "Well m'dear, we owe you one," he began, "and I'm payin' up with a mighty nice reward." With that, he lifted his staff into the air and pointed off towards the distance. "Come to me! Immortal Phoenix!" he cried.

The group waited in baited silence, looking off in the direction that the Hermit was pointing and wondering what was supposed to happen. After a while, they all realized that _nothing_ was happening.

"Was that 'immortal' or 'invisible'?" Bulma quipped when it became apparent that this bird wasn't going to show up.

"Sir," Umigame said to Kame Sennin, "if you'll recall, the phoenix ran into some tainted bird seeds..."

"Oh that's right," Kame Sennin said, realization finally dawning on him. "We lost the poor feller."

Bulma blanched, startled by this announcement. "You mean it _died_!?"

"I was gonna ask him to grant you immortality, but I guess we better scratch that." Kame Sennin frowned, deep in thought. A moment passed before the old man was suddenly hit by an idea. "I've got it! This is even better." Once again turning towards the horizon, he lifted his staff into the air and cried "Come to me! Kinto'un!"

A strange screeching sound slowly made it's way towards the group when suddenly a yellow cloud appeared before them. Kame Sennin let out a sigh of relief as the cloud came to a halt in front of him.

"I-i-it's a cloud!" Bulma gasped.

"This is Kinto'un," Kame Sennin explained, "and I'm giving it to you."

Goku turned towards the old man, a confused look on her face. "How do you eat it?"

The Hermit was taken aback by her words. "You don't _eat_ a magical cloud!" he corrected sternly. "You _ride_ it. It'll take you where ever you desire."

Now Goku was excited. The idea of being able to fly where ever she wanted to go thrilled her. "Wow, y'mean it'll really fly me?"

"That's right," Kame Sennin continued, "but it won't let you ride it unless you're pure of heart. Let me show you." With that the old man hopped onto the cloud... and fell right through.

Bulma instantly burst into a fit of laughter at the sight as the Turtle Hermit struggled to his feet. "Clearly it's defective," he grumbled, trying desperately to cover his embarrassment. "Needs a magical tune up."

"Let me try!" Goku cried, and before she could even get permission, the girl hopped into the air. The group watched in awe as she actually managed to stay on the little yellow cloud. Goku cheered, throughly delighted to actually be able to ride the cloud.

"It seems fixed, sir," Umigame commented as he watched Goku hop up and down on the Kinto'un.

"Go cloud!" Goku instructed and just as the words passed her lips, she was off soaring through the clouds like a bird in the sky.

As the three watched Goku fly back and forth across the beach, something suddenly caught Bulma's eye. Taking a closer look at the necklace that hung around the Hermit's neck, he realized that the thing dangling from it was no ordinary ornament.

_A Dragon Ball!_

"Hey old timer!" Bulma said suddenly, "I want a reward too!"

Kame Sennin frowned as he turned towards Umigame. "You say the boy didn't help you?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not."

"Hey! Who gave you the salt water?" Bulma seethed.

"Well, I suppose there is something else I could give you-"

"That thing around your neck!" Bulma jumped in. "Give me that!"

The Hermit frowned as he glanced down at the orange orb tied around his neck. "This old thing?" he questioned. "I suppose I can let you have it... for a pair of panties."

Bulma blanched at the old man's request. "P-panties?" he gasped. "Do _I_ look like someone who has a pair of panties to give away!?"

A strange gleam suddenly flashed across the old man's sunglasses as he leaned in closer towards Bulma. "What about your little girlfriend?"

Bulma was about to protest and yell that Goku was most certainly _not_ his girlfriend, when Umigame suddenly cut in.

"Now really sir! I mean, really!" Umigame scowled, clearly outraged by his master's request.

"Shut it!" Kame Sennin yelled. "It's hard being a hermit! I deserve the occasional panty!"

"Now we know why the cloud-" Umigame began.

"Oh shut up!"

Bulma felt his face turn a deep shade of red as he reached into his pocket. "Well, if it's for the Dragon Ball," he said softly as he, shamefully, pulled out a pair of Goku's panties that he had... "borrowed." He had taken the undergarment merely as a memento for having seen his first naked girl (in the flesh), but he wasn't at all proud of it. Now a dirty old man and a sea turtle knew his secret.

Kame Sennin happily accepted the panties, handing over the ball without hesitation. Bulma was ecstatic! He stared in awe at the three star Dragon Ball. He felt incredibly accomplished... and very dirty.


	4. Oolong

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 4** Oolong

Three days past before the travelers finally arrived near the location of their fifth Dragon Ball. Bulma was still boiling at the knowledge that he wasn't "pure" enough to ride the Kinto'un. He couldn't quite grasp why the cloud hadn't let him on it. Was his hunkyness truly a sin? That had to be it. He was merely too much of a stud for this world.

He pushed those thoughts aside for the time being as they came across a small, seemingly deserted village.

"Where is everybody?" Bulma asked. "It's like a ghost town."

"I can _sense_ somebody," Goku announced from on top of her cloud.

"You're nuts," Bulma scoffed as he got off his capsule bike. "There can't be anybody in this place."

The two surveyed the area, finding no one around. Bulma frowned as he pulled out his Dragon Radar. "There's nothing here accept the Dragon Ball," he announced.

"But I'm sensing all kinds of people," Goku insisted as she hopped off her cloud. "I'm gonna go check this out." With that, the girl headed straight for the first house she saw. Without a second thought, she began pounding on the door. "Hey! I know you're in there!" she cried.

"Door must be locked," Bulma mused.

"Oh yeah?" Goku asked before putting her fist through the door, punching out the knob. "It's open now!" she cheered as she eased the door ajar.

Suddenly, a figure hopped out of the shadows and took a swing at Goku's head with an ax. Bulma howled in surprise as the blade crumbled on top of the girl's head. Poor Goku collapsed to the ground, clutching her throbbing head in pain.

The attacker turned out to be a balding old man in a pair of overalls, who looked as if he were more terrified of Goku than anything else. "N-no!" he stammered in fright. "It didn't work."

Goku was back on her feet in the blink of an eye, staff drawn and ready to attack. "What was that about!?" she demanded, temporarily ignoring the growing bump on her head.

The old man braced himself for the attack. "Forgive me Oolong-sama!" he begged. "I'll give you anything! Food! Money! Only please spare my daughter!"

The two felt their ears perk up at the frightened man's words. Clearly there was something serious going on in this village.

-+-+-+-

Goku flinched as a young girl with her hair braided into pigtails placed a cool cloth on her head. "Are you alright?" she asked her.

"Sorry about that dear," the old man apologized sheepishly. "I just thought that Oolong had taken the form of a young girl."

Bulma wasn't so quick to forgive. He glared at the old man. "If that had been me, I'd be dead y'know."

The man laughed nervously at his comment. "Lucky it wasn't, huh?"

Goku studied the person in front of her carefully, trying to figure out if it was male or female. After a few seconds, she reached out her hand towards the stranger with pigtails and--

_Pat pat._

"I get it!" she announce proudly, ignoring the surprised shriek. "You're a girl!" Just as the words left her lips, Bulma came up behind Goku and smacked her right on her bruised head. Goku cringed in pain before turning to glare at the boy. "What was that for!?"

"No pat pat!" he scolded. "Anyway," he started again, turning his attention towards the old man and his daughter. "Who's this Oolong you're so freaked out about?"

The pigtailed girl ran over to her father, clutching him in fear. The old man returned the gesture as he began to explain their plight. "He's a horrible demon who haunts our land. A vile shape-shifter whose true form has never been seen." The man explained how Oolong had been kidnapping their young girls and taking them away to his lair. Yesterday, Oolong came to the village demanding the old man's daughter and would return that day to collect her.

"Why don't you just beat him up?" Goku asked.

"Are you kidding!?" he gasped. "He's huge!"

Bulma smirked as an idea suddenly came to him. "Wait a minute," he said as he shrugged off his back pack and pulled out one of the Dragon Balls. "Have you ever seen one of these?"

An old woman who had been standing at the door with the other villagers suddenly came forward. "I've got one just like it!" she announced.

"You do?" Bulma asked happily.

In reply, the woman pulled out the six star ball and showed it to him. "A long time ago, my granny found it."

Bulma's smile widened. "Ma'am, if you give me that ball, I'll take care of Oolong for you."

The old woman blinked in disbelief. "Well that's a lovely offer, but do you really think this is a job for a school boy?"

The young boy chuckled proudly at her words. "Oh no," he corrected. "I'm not the one whose going to do the fighting, _she_ is." Just as he pointed over towards Goku, he noticed that the monkey tailed girl had approached the old woman and--

_Pat pat._

"Hey! You're a girl too!"

"I said no pat pat!"

"Even if you do defeat Oolong," the old man began, cutting in to their argument. "We don't even know where his hide out is. How will we get the other girls back?"

Before Bulma could answer, one of the villagers rushed into the small room. "He's here!" he cried. "Oolong's coming!"

Panic quickly over took them as the villagers all scrambled around chaotically in order to get to safety.

"I'll go clobber him!" Goku announced as she ran out to face the unknown foe.

"Wait! Son-kun!" Bulma called after her. "I had a plan!" Of course, it was too late for that now and he knew it. With a frustrated growl, Bulma turned towards the scattering villagers. "Everybody hide while Son-kun takes care of this!" With that, he ran inside the house and shut the door behind him.

Goku felt a sudden thrill run up and down her body at the thought of finally being able to get a good fight.

It was then that a giant, red pig like creature with horns on top his head came over the horizon. He was wearing a suit and holding a bouquet of flowers. When the giant came up close to her, he frowned. "I was expecting someone different," he grumbled, before his frown melted away into a content smile. "But you'll do. You certainly are a cute one, although you have a wild look about you."

The girl frowned in confusion. She had no idea what this pig was going on about. She merely pulled out her staff and got into a fighting stance. "Take me to were you've hidden the other girls!" she demanded.

Oolong smiled, apparently delighted by her words. "Forward aren't you?" he chuckled. "I do like the feisty girls. Clearly you're no blushing bride, eh?"

By then, Goku had had enough of the shape shifter's annoying blather. "Nyoibo extend!" she cried and as soon as the staff was long enough, she took a whack at the beast's leg.

Oolong howled in pain as he clutched his injured leg. The strange look that had crossed his face was quickly replaced by anger. "You little brat!" he growled before transforming into a giant bull. "You dare to attack the great Oolong-sama!? Well I don't need a wife like that! You're in for a world of pain!"

Goku huffed, unimpressed by the change in shape. She merely stuck out her tongue and pulled down her eyelid at the giant beast.

"So, makin' fun of me, eh?" Oolong seethed. "Well now's your last chance to apologize kid."

"You first," Goku countered.

"I'm only saying this once!" the monster warned. "I'm strong, okay? Really strong!"

Goku felt her excitement start to decrease. Why the heck was this guy stalling? She wanted to fight! "Oh come on!" she whined. "I get bored with talkin'."

"W-what kind of idiot are you? I'm trying to tell you you're going to die!"

"Okay, whatever."

Oolong snorted in annoyance. "If you insist," he began when something suddenly caught his eye. A look of panic crossed his face before he turned and ran away.

Annoyed, Goku instantly took off after him. She rounded the corner, only to find a little pig in a green suit and matching hat. "Hey pig," she said, grabbing his attention. "You seen a bull run by here?"

"He went that way," the pig said and off Goku ran. Goku searched the area for a while before turning to head back towards the village. "No luck?" the pig asked casually.

"I don't get it," Goku grumbled. "Maybe he turned into a bird and flew away." As she approached the village, she heard a strange sound from behind her. Turning around, she watched as a giant robot holding a bowl of steaming hot soup stood behind her. She knew right away that it was Oolong.

The robot laughed menacingly as he loomed over her. "You dream that Oolong would flee?" he taunted. "I just took a break to attack another village!" There was a pause between the two as Goku just looked on blankly. "No smart remarks, huh?" he chuckled. "Surrender now or I'll dunk you in this boiling soup and slurp you like a ramen noodle."

"You changed again," Goku said at last. "Are you gonna fight or just play dress up?"

"What did you-" Oolong started, but stopped himself when his thumb slipped and was met by boiling hot soup. He yelped in pain, dropping the bowl as he clutched his injured thumb.

Goku looked on in confusion. "Tell me something," she began, "are you really a puny weakling?"

"W-what?" Oolong stammered. "No! I'm the strongest in the world! Ask anybody." Goku was unimpressed. "And what about you, huh? How strong are you?"

"My Grampa taught me kung fu," she stated.

"K-kung fu, huh? So you must think you're pretty tough." With that, Oolong grabbed three bricks and, with a lot of effort, stacked them up in front of the girl. "I bet you can't smash these three bricks with your hand."

"I can do that with one finger!" Goku announced proudly and did just that, turning the bricks into mere dust.

Oolong merely laughed nervously before transforming into a bat and flying away. "Farewell!" he called from over his shoulder.

Goku merely stood there, staring at him in confusion. She couldn't quite understand what had just happened.

"Don't just stand there!" Bulma cried as he popped out from his hiding place. "Go after him! We have to find his lair or else we won't be able to rescue the kidnapped girls!"

Blinking, Goku instantly turned her head skyward. "Kinto'un!" she cried and in a heart beat, the cloud was at her feet. She hopped on, catching up to Oolong without much trouble at all. "Thought you could get away, huh?" Goku teased as she approached the shape shifter.

Seeing that his bat form wasn't fast enough, Oolong instantly transformed himself into a rocket and blasted away. Unfortunately for him, Goku was easily able to keep up. Just then, he transformed again, only this time back into the small pig from earlier. Luckily for Oolong, Goku was able to catch him mid fall.

"So _you_ were Oolong all along!?" Goku asked, astonished.

Oolong, however, was still shaking with fear. "But who... or _what_ are you!?"

-+-+-+-

After freeing the girls and collecting their reward, the group left the village, with an extra man on their side.

"I can't believe it!" Bulma cheered from the front seat of the boat. "Only two balls left! I'm going to have all seven way before I expected!"

Goku shifted in her seat as she stared at their new "companion" questioningly. "But Bulma," she began, "why do we have to bring Oolong with us?"

The pig glared at Goku, adjusting his hat. "That's what _I_ want to know," he muttered.

"That transformation trick of yours is pretty nifty," Bulma explained. "It might come in handy on our quest."

"No way!" the shape shifter protested. "I don't do quests! They're boring."

Bulma sighed. "Okay," he began idly, "but did I forget to mention that Son-kun usually sleeps in the nude?"

Oolong quickly settled down at that, staring longingly over at Goku. "Then again, they don't have to be boring."

Goku, on the other hand, was doing some staring of her own.

_Pat pat._

Oolong jumped, more surprised than out raged. "What was that for!?" he cried, clearly all talk.

"You're a boy, right?"

With that, the three continued on with their quest. Unknown to them, they were heading closer and closer towards great danger.


	5. Yamucha The Desert Bandit

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 5** Yamucha, the Desert Bandit

The three continued on their quest, heading towards the south west in their small capsule boat. Bulma was so close to collecting all seven balls that he could practically taste the sweet strawberry flavored lips of his dream girl. Soon, so very soon, he'd have the babe of a girlfriend he'd always wanted!

"Are we there yet?" Goku whined from behind him.

"Say," Oolong chimed in "just where is 'there' anyway?"

"Still a _long_ way off," Bulma answered casually as he reached into his back pack for his map. "I'd give it three more days. Lemme see." He studied his map for a minute before saying "It should be around Fry-Pan mountain."

Upon hearing this, Oolong freaked. "What!? Fry-Pan mountain!" he gasped, ready to jump over board at a moment's notice. Luckily Goku was holding onto him tightly. "You're gonna go there?"

"You've heard of it?" Bulma asked curiously.

"Y-you don't know!?" Oolong was practically screaming by now. "That's where the terrible Gyu Mao lives!"

"No prob," Bulma shrugged confidently. "Son-kun will kick his butt."

"He sounds fun," Goku cheered.

Oolong merely slumped over in defeat. It was just his luck. He was traveling with a bunch of freaks.

It was then that they slowed to a sudden stop. "Hey, the boat stopped!" Goku pointed out.

"We're out of gas," Bulma groaned. He turned to look at Oolong from behind. "Can you turn into gas to fill the tank?"

"No way," Oolong said flatly.

"Well, we've got to get ashore so I can pull out a gas capsule," Bulma explained. "Turn into an oar, okay?"

Begrudgingly, Oolong did as he was asked. The group eventually made it to the shore, only for Bulma to discover something horrible.

"I-it's not here," he gasped. "M-my hoi poi capsules! They're gone! I must have lost them in the river!" He let out an extremely unmanly screech as he searched his pockets a second time. "A fish!" he cried, turning desperately towards Oolong. "Turn into a fish and I'll give you Son-kun's panties! Hurry! Now!"

"No way," Oolong said, not even panties would sway him. "That river's too big."

Goku blinked, not grasping the crisis. "What's wrong?" she asked innocently.

"I lost my _capsules_!" he cried. "That means no gas... no house... no car... not even a bike! I'm helpless! _Helpless_!"

"What's wrong with walking?" Goku asked.

Bulma seethed, turning his angry eyes at the naive girl. "Easy for you to say Miss Flying Cloud!"

-+-+-+-

Although Oolong could easily turn himself into a bike, he wasn't able to support Bulma's weight and thus the group was forced to walk as they wandered through the desert. The bright sun and dry air were far harsher than what Bulma was used to. He had taken off his jacket some time back and rolled up his already short sleeves in order to relieve himself just a bit, but it wasn't enough. He was drenched with sweat and dying of thirst. Oolong wasn't doing much better. The little pig looked like he was ready to roll over and die. Goku on the other hand, was just fine.

She frowned as she stopped for what seemed like the hundredth time in order to allow her fellow travelers to catch up with her. "What's taking you guys so long?" she asked irritably. "If I'm gonna walk, I wanna do it fast!"

"Hey, I'm a city kid... remember?" Bulma replied, barely able to summon enough energy to get angry. "Not some... feral beast-girl... l-like you." He groaned, taking a good look at how far they had traveled and how much further they had to go. "I never knew there was this much desert," he observed wearily.

"There's... there's no way around it..." Oolong said between pants, "to get to... Fry-Pan Mountain..."

With an frustrated moan, Bulma at long last allowed his legs to give out, collapsing onto the desert floor. "I can't take it anymore!" he gasped, taking off his cap and whipping the sweat off his brow. He saw Oolong collapse next to him from the corner of his eye, but didn't bother to comment. "Not another step today."

Goku frowned at their lack of effort. "How pathetic."

The young man choose to ignore her words and turned his attention towards Oolong. "Isn't there a hotel or inn around here somewhere?" he asked half heartedly.

"Yeah right," Oolong replied dryly. "The 'Sheraton Waste-Land.'"

It was then that Bulma snapped. He couldn't take it anymore. This wasn't right! This wasn't fair! Why was he being made to suffer like this? Wandering in an endless desert with a perverted pig and a crazy jungle brat. "No! It's not fair! Not fair!" he cried, literally kicking and screaming his way towards shade provided by a near by rock. "I'm _hungry_! I need a _bath_! I can't sleep without a _bed_!"

Oolong frowned at Bulma's display. "Spoiled rotten isn't he?" he muttered.

"Look whose talking," Goku said, knowing that Oolong could be equally as self-centered. It was then that the sound of snoring met their ears. Looking over in Bulma's direction, the two soon realized that the boy had fallen fast asleep. "What was that he said about a bed?"

The shape-shifter shrugged. "We should rest too."

"I'm hungry..." Goku whined.

-+-+-+-

Puar smiled happily, having spotted the pig and the boy with the telescope. It had been awhile since there'd been any visitors to the desert and the idea that they would soon have someone to rob was exciting. The cat let out a small cheer as she floated back towards the cave that she shared with her mistress.

"Yamucha-sama!" she called happily as she climbed down the latter into the lair of stolen goods. "Game! We've got game!"

Yamucha smirked happily at the news. "Our first catch in a long while," she mused as she followed Puar back outside towards the ledge. "How nice." Picking up the telescope, Yamucha soon spotted what her friend had seen. "A girl and a pig, eh? They don't look as though they'd be carrying much cash."

"But they might have some hoi-poi capsules," Puar insisted.

"You're probably right Puar. Prepare the squirrel jet!"

"Yes ma'am!"

-+-+-+-

"I'm starving too," Oolong whined, feeling his stomach already starting to rumble.

"I'll go look for some food," Goku offered. "Do you like pork?"

Oolong felt his eyes twitch, completely offended by the girl's question. "What do you think!?" he growled dangerously.

It was then that a strange sound caught Goku's attention. Up until then, things had been rather quiet in the desert waste land, but now it sounded as if something was heading straight towards them. Oolong seemed to hear it too as he turned his head towards noise. A figure quickly started to appear and it looked as if someone was heading towards them riding an air jet.

The rider came to a halt in front of them, stepping off the jet with a toss of her hair. "Greetings," she said smoothly.

Oolong didn't know which was stronger, the urge to run in fear or the sudden urge to stare and drool over the strange woman. She had a dangerous air about her, but her looks were simply captivating. Her thick black locks, her tiny waist, her legs that seemed to go on for days, and not to mention her healthy bust. Before Oolong could even stop himself, he felt the drool starting to run down his chin. "What a babe," he mumbled dreamily.

Goku on the other hand, was still trying to figure out if this person in front of her was a boy or a girl, let alone friend or foe. "Who are you?" she asked curiously, a confused look plastered to her face.

"Me? I'm the Queen hyena in a land of scavengers," the stranger announced. "The name is Yamucha."

"And I'm Puar," the little purple cat chimed in.

"I usually don't prey on babies," Yamucha continued, "but if you want to leave this desert alive, give me all your money and capsules."

"'Puar'?" Oolong repeated. The name sounded familiar to him. Suddenly, a light bulb seemed to go off in his head as he recognized the face before him. "You don't mean... 'Cry Baby Puar'?"

Puar gasp, suddenly remembering who the pig was. "Oolong!" she squeaked

Yamucha frowned in surprise at her small companion. "You know him?"

"Sort of," Puar explained. "In my first year at Shape-Shifter School he used to pick on me all the time until he got kicked out for stealing the female teachers' panties!"

Oolong growled in embarrassment. "You haven't changed much, have you?" Goku asked.

"Well it's not my place to judge others," Yamucha shrugged, "only steal their valuables."

The pig began to tremble in fear. This was clearly no time to drool over a hottie. Their lives were in danger! It was then that he remembered the way Goku had defeated him. He might not have been much of an opponent, but Bulma seemed to have been pretty confident about the girl's strength. Surely the jungle girl would be able to defeat the desert bandit. "Hey! You're strong right?" he asked her. "A real tough chick?"

"Yeah, I guess," Goku replied, not sure where Oolong was going with this.

Oolong relaxed slightly as a smug look suddenly crossed his face. "Listen Cha-Cha, or whatever your name is," he taunted. "If you think we're giving you anything, then you're dumber than you look! Now get lost before you get hurt!"

Yamucha was not at all impressed. She knew the pig was full of it and obviously the little girl wouldn't be a challenge at all. "Oh really?" she smirked, drawing her sword slowly. "So you're that eager to see the next world?"

"Yeah Yamucha, kill 'em!" Puar cheered.

Oolong felt his legs begin to shake once more as he grasped Goku's arm in fear. "Alright Goku," he said, panic clear in his tone. "She's all yours."

"Why do I want to fight her?" Goku asked, as lost as ever.

"Will you pay attention!" Oolong barked. How could the kid choose _now_ to be a ditsy? Didn't she realize they were about to be killed? "She's going to kill us!"

Goku's ears perked up at Oolong's words. "Hey!" she cried, turning her attention to Yamucha. "You want to kill us?"

Yamucha frowned, clearly she had not picked the brightest group to rob. "Let me guess," she said dryly, "you're the smart one, right?"

While the two girls sized each other up, Oolong took the opportunity to sneak away, hiding near the still unconscious Bulma and praying that Goku would prove to be more than just a pretty face.

"Hyaaa!" Yamucha cried as she took a swing at the young girl with her sword, a move that Goku easily dodged. Flipping through the air, Goku quickly pulled out her staff and made ready to whack Yamucha with her Nyoibo, only to have the desert bandit block her attack with her blade. The two separated and as soon as Goku had landed on her feet, she aimed her staff straight for Yamucha's stomach.

"Nyoibo extend!" she cried.

Yamucha watched in awe as the pole nearly tripled in size and slammed into her stomach. With an oof the young woman flew backwards, dropping her sword in the process. Landing on her backside, she let out a groan of pain as she clutched her poor, sore stomach muscles. Clearly she had under estimated the girl, but there was something else that troubled her. "Hey," she huffed as she struggled to her feet. "Where did you get that staff?"

"My dead Grampa gave it to me," Goku answered.

"I've only heard of one staff that lengthens on command," Yamucha mused. "The Nyoibo of legend. Tell me girl, what was your grandfather's name?"

"My Grampa's name?" she repeated, wondering why the other girl had stopped the fight to ask all these questions. Why wasn't anyone just willing to give her a decent challenge instead of boring her with talk? "His name was Son Gohan."

"As I thought," Yamucha muttered to herself, suddenly very worried. "Son Gohan was said to be unrivaled in a host of martial arts disciplines. I didn't know he had a granddaughter. Now I'll remember not to lower my guard."

"I'm hungry," Goku whined as her stomach once again started to rumble.

Yamucha ignored the girl's words as she lowered herself into a fighting stance. "It's been too long since I faced real competition," she said, her body beginning to tingle with excitement and energy. She hadn't used this attack in quite a while. It would certainly be interesting to see how Gohan's granddaughter handled it. "_Rogafufu-ken_!" Yamucha howled and in the blink of an eye she was off, charging towards the stunned Goku. With a flurry of attacks, the desert bandit soon knocked the young girl clear across the desert and far from sight.

"Hurray!" Puar cheered as she floated towards her mistress. "Way to go Yamucha-sama!"

Now Oolong was terrified. Goku had been doing so well until Yamucha used that weird attack on her! Surely he'd be killed now. "That was amazing Yamucha-sama!" Oolong said, trying his best to sound sincere and keep the fear out of his tone. "You're the best in the world! I'm so glad I'm on your side."

Yamucha glared at the pig in disgust. She didn't want _nor_ need any perverted pigs around. She watched as the little pig continued to tremble, cracking her knuckles menacingly. "Hand over your money and capsules," she demanded.

Oolong continued to shake with fear as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his emergency capsule. "Here you are ma'am."

"A 'Size M' capsule?" she observed proudly. "Not bad for a little punk. This should bring us a nice chunk of change."

It was then that Goku reappeared, looking both irritated and shaken. "I said I was hungry," she clarified. "And hittin' me didn't help!"

Yamucha blinked in surprise, impressed that the little girl had managed to survive her attack. "Still alive?" she observed. "Do you want to feel my fist of the wolf again?"

Goku frowned as she crouched into a fighting stance. "How about my fist of rock, paper, scissors!"

With that, the young girl came at the desert bandit with renewed energy, blocking her fist with rock, poking her eyes with scissors and smacking her across the desert terrain with paper. Now Yamucha was not just angry, she was embarrassed. There was no way she was going to let some baby kick her butt! She had a reputation to protect! "You little," she seethed just as she charged towards Goku.

Unfortunately, poor Goku was now almost completely drained. Her stomach was sucking up all her energy. She couldn't fight anymore. "I gotta stop," she groaned. "I'm too hungry to fight."

"You can't do that!" Oolong cried, hiding once more behind a giant rock. "You just made her mad!"

"Hey, what's happening?" The sound of the new voice caused everyone to stop and stare at the suddenly conscious Bulma. "You guys were making so much noise that I couldn't sleep!"

It was then that Yamucha and Bulma made eye contact. Yamucha could feel her body completely lock up mid stride at the sight of a boy, and an incredibly cute boy at that! Every inch of her skin began to burn bright red and her legs were trembling like jell-o. Before she could even try to regain her composure (which she couldn't) the poor desert girl fell over in a dead faint.

"Yamucha-sama!" Puar cried as she flew towards her fallen mistress. She hadn't spotted the boy, but if she had, she never would have let poor Yamucha-sama come anywhere near him.

"P-Puar," Yamucha managed to get out as she struggled to get back on her own two feet, "t-t-time for a s-strategic w-withdrawal."

"Y-yes ma'am!"

Goku and the others watched as a wobbly Yamucha somehow managed to climb on board her air jet and speed away as if the devil himself was on her tail. "We'll be back for those capsules!" Yamucha cried. "You just wait and see!" With that, the pair disappeared from sight.

Goku and Oolong stared after her retreating form in utter confusion. Although Oolong was extremely relieved, he couldn't help but wonder why the desert bandit would have such a sudden change of heart.

Bulma on the other hand, was completely enamored by the sight of the raven haired beauty. Never in his life had he seen such a hottie in the flesh. That perfect figure, those dark black eyes, her thick black locks! He had a feeling she'd be haunting his dreams from then on. "What a babe!" he swooned, whipping the drool from his chin. "Who was she?"

Oolong frowned at the young man's comments. Sure he thought that Yamucha was cute too, but he also knew that the crazy girl had tried to kill them! "Only the psycho who was about to kill us!" he pointed out.

"A bad girl, huh?" Bulma mused. "Just my type."

-+-+-+-

Back at her lair, Yamucha was practically beside herself with anger. She didn't know which was worse, having her butt kicked by a little girl or the fact that her one weakness had been exposed: boys. "I didn't know there was a boy with them," she shuddered at the very word. Ever since hitting puberty, Yamucha had become terrified of the opposite sex. Whenever she came across a boy her own age she would simply freeze and completely lose her composure. It was frustrating to say the least, and she feared she'd never be able to get over this affliction.

"Yamucha-sama, I wish you'd get this problem looked into," Puar advised. Truth be told, as much as she cared for her mistress, she was constantly irritated by the way she fell apart whenever they encountered a human boy. It was bad for business.

"I-I-I just never know what to say to boys," she confessed, trembling with fear. "Th-they're just so damn s-scary.


	6. The Dragon Ball Theft

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 6** The Dragon Ball Theft

By night fall, the Dragon Ball hunting trio found themselves in a more comfortable environment. After discovering that the shape-shifting Oolong had been hiding a camper capsule, Bulma had demanded that the pig allowed them to use it. Of course, even then Bulma didn't forgive him.

"If you had a capsule like _this_, why didn't you tell us about it _sooner_?" the young man demanded for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

"It was supposed to be for _emergencies_," the pig muttered, throughly tired of Bulma's nagging.

_And what do you call crawling through the freaking desert!?_ Bulma thought irritably, but decided not to vocalize his complaints. He had just finished his second cup off coffee and his stomach was starting to bother him. Not to mention that his clothes were completely covered in dirt and sweat. He needed a nice long shower and quick. "Do you have a bathroom?"

"It's over there," Oolong said, pointing up the stairs.

"Well I'm going to go take a shower," Bulma announced. "Do you have any spare pj's?"

"Sure," Oolong shrugged, "I'll lend you mine."

With that Bulma went off upstairs to use the facilities. He paused, mid way up the stairs, a thought suddenly occurring to him. "Don't try anything obscene with Son-kun while I'm gone," he warned. He knew that Goku was much stronger than Oolong, but the poor girl was incredibly naive and could be easily tricked by the pig. It was strange, in spite of Goku's incredible strength and amazing fighting abilities, there was a small part of Bulma that actually wanted to _protect_ the kid.

Oolong growled, offended that Bulma would even think he'd try anything with the naive girl (although, he had been secretly planning to do just that). "Me be obscene?" he retorted. "You're the one whose been using your 'girlfriend's' panties as a bargaining chip!"

"She's _not_ my girlfriend!" Bulma hissed. "And that's completely different! I'm just offering her undies, not access to anything else! You just keep _that_ in mind and keep _your hands_ to yourself!" With that, Bulma continued his march upstairs, slamming the door behind him.

"Selfish brat," Oolong grumbled as he turned his attention back towards Goku. The girl didn't seem to have heard a word he or Bulma had said as she continued to devourer plate after plate of food. "How can you eat so much!? I thought girls were supposed to have small appetites!"

"I'm hungry," Goku said simply, as if that explained everything, as she continued to shovel food into her mouth.

-+-+-+-

Back at their desert lair, Yamucha and Puar were passing the time by having a cup of coffee. Yamucha was still seething over her humiliating defeat by the monkey tailed girl and wasn't willing to completely put the incident behind her. She was going to get those capsules no matter what.

"Sun's gone down," she observed. "It's time to get that capsule."

"But Yamucha-sama, isn't that _boy_ still with them?" Puar reminded. She didn't want her poor mistress to have to repeat the traumatic experience a second time.

Yamucha, however, didn't seem to be concerned in the slightest. "Don't worry," she began confidently. "I have a plan. You'll take the shape of that pig or the monkey tailed girl and lead the other's away, while I grab that capsule."

"Brilliant!" Puar cheered.

-+-+-+-

Even with Goku around to protect them, Oolong still couldn't rest easily knowing that Yamucha and Puar were still out there roaming the desert. The last thing he wanted was to wake up with a sword to his throat while that crazy woman made off with his capsule camper. The very thought sent a terrified tremble across the pig's body.

"They could be out there lurking, y'know," Oolong said as he glanced out the window and tried his best to see if there were any shadowy figures nearby.

"Don't worry," Goku said contently. "I'm full now, I can't lose."

Oolong nodded. He wanted to believe in Goku, but the fact was that Yamucha had almost beaten her before. Could having a full stomach really make that much of a difference when it came to fighting? He shook his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. It wouldn't help him any if he kept worrying about it. He decided instead to change the subject. "So what are you and your 'boyfriend' traveling around for?" he asked. "And why do you want to go to Fry-Pan Mountain?"

"Cause there's a Dragon Ball there," she said simply.

Oolong felt his ears perk up at the girl's words. "A _what_ ball?" he asked. "I didn't even know dragons had-"

"I've got one here," Goku cut in, reaching into the small pouch tied to her waist and pulling out her four star ball. "Neat, huh?"

-+-+-+-

Under the cover of darkness, Yamucha and Puar crept closer towards the camper, trying to see how many of the travelers were still awake. The two could hear the shower running from inside the camper and saw that the lights were still on. Obviously the group was still wide awake.

"You're pulling my leg!" the duo suddenly heard the pig say. The desert pair crept closer towards a window and peeked inside. "So if you collect all seven of these Dragon Balls the Dragon God will grant you a wish?"

"Great, huh?" they heard Goku say.

"Any wish at all?"

"That's what he said."

"So how many do you have so far?"

"Five! And the sixth should be somewhere around that mountain."

"I'm starting to get it now," Oolong said thoughtfully. "And that radar that he was looking at in the boat... that tells you where the Dragon Balls are right?"

"I guess so."

By this point, Yamucha was practically trembling with excitement. These Dragon Balls were the answer to her prayers! "Puar," she whispered, gaining the small cat's attention. Without another word, she pointed over towards a near by rock. The two quickly headed over towards it, out of ear shot from the kids in the camper. "Did you hear that!?" Yamucha said, her voice filled with cheer and excitement.

"Oh yeah!" Puar said, unable to hide the giddiness gleaming in her eyes.

"Any wish will be granted," she repeated triumphantly. "Do you know what this means?" She paused, standing a bit straighter. "I'll never be afraid of boys again!"

Puar collapsed onto her side at her mistress's declaration. She wasn't exactly expecting her to say that, although she should have. "No disrespects mistress," she started, still feeling disappointed at Yamucha's intended wish. "But shouldn't you ask to rule the world or for boundless wealth or _something_?"

Yamucha scoffed. She had thought that Puar knew her a bit better than that. "What are you talking about? I can steal whatever I want and ruling the world is for chumps! But this business of getting freaked out whenever I see a boy is a _real_ problem. Especially," her voice suddenly lowered as a blush crossed her features, "since I dream of getting married."

"You dream... of getting married?"

-+-+-+-

"You mean you're in this just to see the dragon!?" Oolong asked incredulously.

"Yeah!" Goku giggled happily. "And to fight and see different places."

"You're weird," Oolong muttered. "All I care about are girls."

"Well, then why don't you ask the dragon for a girl?"

Oolong smiled lecherously at the idea. "Hey, that's a pretty good idea!"

"Wrong-o!" Bulma cried suddenly as he whacked the pig on the back of his head. The young man was currently wearing nothing by a towel around his waste, that he clutch to with one hand. "The Dragon only grants _one_ wish. Period. And that wish is all mine! And by the way, what's up with these pajamas!?" he asked, lifting a child's size pair of pajamas into the air. "How the heck am I supposed to fit in this?"

"Well I did say they were _mine_," the pig reminded. "It's those or nothing."

"Fine," the teen grumbled reluctantly. "I guess I'll have to just sleep in my underwear, but you'd better have my clothes cleaned by morning!" The shape shifter muttered something under his breath, but Bulma choose to ignore it. "All right, where's your bedroom."

"Right up those stairs," Oolong told him.

"Okay. Son-kun, you can take the bed, Oolong and I will sleep down here."

Oolong raised a surprised eyebrow at the city boy's words. He couldn't have heard that right. Selfish Bulma was actually _giving away_ the chance of sleeping in a bed? He must not be feeling well.

"Huh? You're giving _me_ the bed?" Goku repeated, equally shocked. She'd been traveling with the boy for well over a week now and this was the most generous gesture she'd ever witnessed from him.

"You feeling okay?" Oolong questioned, only half serious.

Bulma felt his eyebrow twinge with irritation. What was wrong with these two? What exactly was so damn shocking about him actually doing something _nice_? He happened to consider himself to be a very caring person. "Real funny guys," he half growled. "I'm just trying to protect Son-kun's innocence! I don't want _you_ to go taking advantage of her in the middle of the night!"

Oolong glared at the young human in annoyance. He couldn't figure out how this guy kept guessing what he was planning to do.

-+-+-+-

After a rather fitful night of sleep, the Dragon Ball hunters awoke the next morning bright and early. At least, as early as Bulma and Oolong would allow themselves to be awaken. Neither had gotten a decent rest. Bulma had kicked Oolong off of the couch and forced the pig to sleep on the floor. Yet even then the young man couldn't find a comfortable position on the cramped space. Goku on the other hand, had slept like a log and was up and full of energy by sunrise, much to the boys' annoyance.

"I guess we should get a move on," Bulma mumbled as he sipped on his third cup of coffee. "I want to hurry up and get that next Dragon Ball"

"I'm in no hurry to be killed," Oolong chimed in miserably, "but the sooner we leave this desert the better. I want to get away from that Yamucha before she can get another chance to kill us."

Bulma sighed wistfully at the mention of the desert bandit. Just as the boy had predicted, the wild haired beauty had invaded his fitful slumber and filled his head with naughty thoughts. However, it wasn't just the dirty images that appeared. Whenever the girl's name was mentioned, he felt a strange feeling well up inside of him. He couldn't quite explain it, but-

"I'm hungry!" Goku whined, pulling Bulma out of his thoughts. "When's breakfast?"

"You're always hungry," he grumbled under his breath. "Are my clothes cleaned, Oolong?"

The pig blinked in confusion at the boy's words. "You can't be serious."

"What do you mean 'you can't be serious'!?" the teen practically howled. "You don't expect me to just go around wearing nothing but my underwear!?"

"Well it is the desert, so I'm sure you'll be nice and cool."

Bulma was practically livid at that point. He couldn't wear his clothes from yesterday! They were covered with sweat and grime and all of his clean clothes were gone since he'd lost his capsule case. Yet here he was, stuck wearing nothing more than a pair of boxers and tube socks. How was he supposed to go on a quest in just his underwear? "Well just make yourself useful and start driving!" he ordered. "I'm going to go and see what I can do about clothes."

-+-+-+-

Yamucha watched through her telescope as the capsule camper roared to life and started to move across her desert. She simply couldn't let the group get away. Those Dragon Balls were meant for her, she knew it! Why else would God plant such a golden opportunity in her lap? "They've started moving," she stated out loud.

"What shall we do?" Puar asked.

Yamucha frowned. She'd been serious when she said she didn't want to pick on "babies," but in her desperation, she knew that her only chance in gaining those balls and the radar the boy used to find them was to use cowardly tactics. "I _must_ have those Dragon Balls," she said slowly. "Even if it means we have to use force." She stood up straight, determination flowing through her. "Prepare the automatic rifle -- the Panzer Faust -- and the mighty mouse!" she ordered.

"Yes ma'am!"

With that, the two headed out towards the capsule camper in one of the cars the duo had stolen. Yamuch smirked as they eased up beside the camper, aiming her Panzer Faust at the left front tire. Without a moment's hesitation, the desert bandit fired her missile, rocking the vehicle as the rocket crashed into the camper with a satisfying explosion. She could hear the surprised screams and yelps of the vehicle's occupants and instantly knew that they would come up a bit shaken, but ultimately survive the crash.

"Now, Puar, stop the car!" she ordered.

"Roger!" the small cat replied as she slowed the car to a halt

Before long, an incredibly agitated Goku hopped out of the damaged capsule camper followed by a still shaken Oolong. Thankfully, the boy was no where to be seen.

"I think the boy fainted, Yamucha-sama," Puar whispered to her.

Yamucha smirked as she pulled out her machine gun and took aim at the pair in front of her. "Good."

"Hey!" Goku practically shrieked, "What do you think you're doin'!?"

"Listen up!" Yamucha cried, not at all intimidated by the young girl. "Hand over the Dragon Balls carefully and you won't be hurt."

Oolong shook as he scrambled to hide behind young Goku. "H-how does she know about the Dragon Balls," he wondered.

"I'm not giving you anything!" Goku said defiantly, sticking out her tongue at the desert dwelling pair.

Oolong flinched at the girl's words. How could she choose a time like this to be so thick headed? "No you idiot!" Oolong warned. "Those balls aren't worth dying for!"

Ignoring the shape shifting pig's words, Goku decided to charge Yamucha head on. Maybe now, they could finish their fight.

The floating cat gaped in surprise at the young girl's actions. "She's coming straight for us!"

Yamucha wasn't at all surprised. She expected nothing less from Gohan's granddaughter. "Hold the automatic rifle," she instructed as she passed her weapon over to the cat. "This kid seems to want someone to teach her a lesson." Yamucha crouched, preparing herself for the attack. "So you want to try my Rogafufu ken again, eh!?" she cried out.

Goku smirked confidently. "Yesterday I was hungry," she explained, "but now my stomach is full."

With that, the two girls clashed, and much to Yamucha's dismay, Goku seemed to much more energetic today than she had been during their previous battle. The little girl somehow managed to duck and dodge every blow, blocking her punches with ease. Yamucha found her own moves beginning to get sloppy as anger and embarrassment began clouding her judgment

With a harsh kick to the face, Goku managed to send the desert bandit flying. The older girl landed on her back with a thud, throughly humiliated

"Come on and get some more!" Goku taunted, and Yamucha probably would have been up for the challenge if Puar hadn't chosen that exact moment to interrupt them.

"Yamucha-sama!" the small cat cried floating towards her beloved mistress. "Y-your noble tooth!"

The young woman paled as the shape shifting cat transformed into a small hand mirror. She gasped when she caught sight of the gap in her front row of teeth! The little brat had actually managed to knock out one of her teeth! The young woman let out an uncharacteristically girlish shriek at the sight. "No no no!" she wailed. "Not my tooth!" Clutching her injured face in humiliation and rage, she scrambled towards her abandoned vehicle to make a hasty retreat.

Goku watched in confusion as the two bandits disappeared into the desert."What the heck?" she questioned, disappointment clear in her tone. "That was so short!"

"You did it!" Oolong cheered as he ran up beside Goku. "You're amazing!" His excitement slowly faded as he took in the recked state of their transportation. "Although it would be better if our car wasn't totaled"

The young girl shrugged in response. "I guess we'll just have to walk."

-+-+-+-

Yamucha was seething at this point. Not only had the girl defeated her _twice_ in battle, she'd now knocked out one of her teeth, thereby ruining her beautiful face! The young woman whimpered quietly as she cupped her swelling cheek tenderly in her hand.

"Are you alright Yamucha-sama?" Puar asked worriedly. She knew how his mistress had always taken pride in her beauty and had a feeling that she was suffering more from the blow to her ego than her face.

"We're going to have to revise our plan," she said, ignoring her partner's concerned words. "We should have done it this way from the start. They said that all seven of those balls must be together, right? Well we should just stay on their tails and steal _all seven_ after they've collected them all."

-+-+-+-

Goku grunted as she adjusted Bulma's unconscious form from its current position slumped across her shoulders. The boy wasn't exactly heavy, but it wasn't a very comfortable position to be in and she didn't look forward to having to drag the young man across the desert. "Boys are so lucky," she muttered.

Oolong was about to make a comment when the two suddenly spotted Yamucha and Puar heading their way. "They're back!" Oolong yelped, already shaking with fear at the idea of another encounter with those two.

However, the two were taken by surprise when they were greeted by an overly cheery Yamucha. "Hey guys!" the young woman called, waving to them in a friendly manner. "Hope there's no hard feelings. We thought it all over and... well the whole mess really is all our fault. So here's a capsule as an apology." That said, the girl tossed a small capsule in their direction. It exploded into a cloud of smoke and a capsule car appeared before them.

"I-it's a car!" Oolong stuttered in surprise.

"Well, take care!" Yamucha called as Puar drove away. Soon the pair were out of sight, leaving Oolong full of suspicion.

"What's going on here?" he asked worriedly as he went to check out the car. "There better not be a bomb here."

"I guess she's a nice person after all," Goku smiled as she loaded Bulma's unconscious form into the car.

With that, the group loaded themselves into the vehicle, not aware of the tracking device that Yamucha had planted inside their car or of the dangers that they would face when they arrived at Fry-Pan Mountain.


	7. FryPan Mountain

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 7** Fry-Pan Mountain

After passing through the desert more or less unscathed, our heroes continued on their journey towards Fry-Pan Mountain and their sixth Dragon Ball. Two days of driving passed. Bulma was still disappointed about not being able to see Yamucha one last time. He had only gotten the briefest of glimpses at the beautiful girl, yet Oolong and Goku had encountered the young woman on several occasions! It simply wasn't fair!

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, still wearing only his boxers and socks. He couldn't believe that after two whole days of driving they hadn't come across a single town where he could pick up some new clothes! Not to mention how much whining Goku had done about being hungry. If he didn't need the girl for protection, he would have thrown her out the window a long time ago.

"Are we there yet?" Goku whined childishly.

"Almost, almost," Bulma assured before shifting in his seat once again. Even though he wasn't wearing much, he was still starting to notice the sudden increase in temperature "It's so hot!" he groused. "Why is it so hot this far north?"

"Because of Fry-Pan Mountain," Oolong explained, a gloomy tone clear in his voice. "About ten years ago, a fire spirit fell from the heavens and transformed it into a mountain of eternal flame... or so they say."

Just as Oolong finished his speech, the trio came into view of a mountain covered in flames. They slowed to a halt as all three of them climbed out of the small car to stare in awe at the sight.

"No wonder it's so hot!" Bulma said, still gazing in frightened wonder at the sight.

Oolong was trembling at the very sight of the mountain range. He wanted nothing more than to climb back into the car and drive away. "So maybe we don't have to go there, huh?" he asked hopefully. "Just leave it to Gyu-Mao."

Bulma blinked in confusion at the unfamiliar name. "Gyu-Mao?" he repeated, tearing his attention away from the flaming mountain. "Who the heck is that?"

"Gyu-Mao, remember!?" the pig repeated. "The one they've nicknamed 'The Emperor of Demons' just because he's so nasty. All who approach his mountain come to horrible ends." Oolong began making swiping gestures across his throat just to drive his point home.

"You mean get killed?" Bulma asked flatly, not at all impressed.

The shape shifter sneered at the young man's interruption, but continued with his story. "Look at the top of that mountain," Oolong instructed, pointing towards the peak of the fiery mountain. "See that castle in the flames? That's his. That castle overflows with gold, silver, and other treasures he's looted from all over the land! Thousands have tried to steal it, but he keeps a constant vigil and none have returned alive."

"Then the sixth Dragon Ball must be in there too," Bulma mused as he stared at the castle surrounded by flames.

"Is that Gyu-Mao guy in there?" Goku asked curiously.

"No, he guards the castle from the foot of the mountain!" Oolong corrected. "It's all 'cause the mountain first caught flame while he and his kid were out on a picnic. That blaze is so huge that even an Ox from Hell can't get through it!"

"You seem to know a lot about this stuff," Bulma mused, pinning Oolong with a questioning look.

"Didn't they teach you about this in school?" Oolong asked sincerely as he tried to slid back into the driver's seat of the car. "Now can we go back? There's no way we'll be able to get the Dragon Ball out of there!"

"No way piggie!" Bulma chided as he grabbed the small pig roughly by the ear, dragging him away from the car. "We're not going anywhere until I get my hands on that sixth ball!"

-+-+-+-

"They're moving again," Puar announced as she watched the tracker implanted in their car.

"It seems they're determined to get to Fry-Pan Mountain no matter what," Yamucha mused. "That must mean the sixth Dragon Ball is inside Gyu-Mao's castle."

"G-Gyu-Mao?" Puar gasped, shaking in terror at the very mention of the name. "Then they're never gonna get it! I think we should just go home."

"Wait, wait," Yamucha murmured thoughtfully. "Could it be that the Monkey-Girl has an 'in' with the old beast? After all, she _is_ Son Gohan's granddaughter and I have heard that Son Gohan and Gyu-Mao were once disciples of the same master. I think it would serve us well to just see what happens."

Just as Yamucha finished her sentence, a cry of terror suddenly came from behind them. The desert bandit spun around to find that the source of the scream was a boy being chased by a dinosaur. The boy was young, no more than twelve or so, and wore strange blue and silver body armor with a matching helmet.

"Get away!" the boy cried as the hungry tyrannosaurus continued to chase after him, slowly gaining speed. Eyes scrunched shut in fear, the young boy reached for the blade that rested on top of his helmet and pulled it off. "I said don't come any closer!" he screamed as he threw the blade towards the dinosaur, slicing it's head clean off before returning to it's spot on top of the boy's helmet.

The boy slowly opened his eyes, gasping in shock at the gruesome scene in front of him. "That's just too freaky!" he cried just before a laser fired from the front of his helmet. "Get outta here!" With that, the dinosaur's remains were blown to pieces. "That was scary!" the boy trembled as he continued on his way.

Yamucha and Puar could only stare in shock and disbelief at what had transpired before them. "What in the heck...?" Yamucha began.

"Not exactly the paralyzed-with-fear type is he?" Puar quipped as the two watched the boy hurry in their direction.

It was then that the young boy spotted the pair. He yelped as he came to a full stop in front of them. "H-hi," Yamucha greeted, not really knowing what else to say or do.

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers!" the boy squeaked, making ready to fire his helmet laser again.

The desert dweller barely managed to dodge the blast as she came up behind the child and whacked him on the back of his neck, knocking him unconscious before he could do any more damage.

"That was close," Yamucha sighed as she caught the boy just before he could hit the ground. "But we have to keep moving. On to Fry-Pan Mountain." With that, she gently laid the boy's unconscious form on the grass before getting back into her capsule car.

"Yamucha-sama," the small cat began, amazed by what she had just witnessed. "Your fear of boys! Didn't it bother you that he-"

The young woman scoffed in disgust, cutting off the shape shifter mid sentence. "You mean that _baby_? Do you think I'm some sort of pervert!?"

-+-+-+-

"Geez," Bulma groused, "it's so stinking hot!" Now that they were currently standing right in the middle of the deserted village on the foot of Fry-Pan Mountain, he could _really_ feel the heat of the flames.

"Don't shout you idiot!" Oolong hissed. "What if Gyu-Mao hears you?"

"Whatever," Bulma shrugged, brushing off the pig's worried words. All he cared about was getting the Dragon Ball. Besides, as long as they had Goku around, there wasn't any need to be worried. "So that's the castle?" he asked, thinking aloud more than actually talking to anyone in particular. "Well according to my radar the Dragon Ball's in there somewhere. If only I could fly..." It was then that he was hit by a brilliant idea. He couldn't fly, but Goku could! "Son-kun! You think you can get the Dragon Ball by yourself?"

"I won't know til I try," the girl said simply. "_Kinto'un_!"

"I said _don't shout_!" Oolong warned just as the small cloud zipped in front of the monkey tailed girl.

"I'll be back in a sec," Goku said as she hopped on top of the yellow cloud. Without another word, she flew off towards the castle.

"You'd better find it!" Bulma called after her.

"Hurry back!" Oolong half pleaded.

The two watched with bated breath as Goku got as close as she could towards the castle before having her clothes catch on fire. Bulma growled in disappointment as the girl turned away from the flaming castle. _That little whimp!_

Just as soon as the thought had passed through Bulma's mind, a huge ax came flying mere inches past his head, embedding itself into a nearby wall. Bulma and Oolong practically jumped out of their respective skins as they turned around and saw a mountain of a man standing behind him. To say that the figure was a giant would be an understatement! He easily towered over the pair as he glare at them through the lenses of his horned helmet. "What're _you_ doin' on _my_ land?" the monster demanded.

Neither Bulma nor Oolong could find it in themselves to form any actual words as they took in Gyu-Mao's massive form. "J-just p-p-passin' th-th-th-" was all that Bulma could manage as the large man loomed over him.

"Aimin' to swipe my treasures, huh?" Gyu Mao drawled. "Well? Is that it!?"

The two frightened travelers were about to deny this claim, to beg forgiveness and explain that this whole situation was merely a grave mistake when Goku suddenly returned on her Kinto'un. "Hey guys!" she called as she flew in closer. "I couldn't break into the castle! It's too hot up there!"

"You idiot!" Bulma screeched in terror. They were dead for sure.

It was only then that Goku realized that they had company. "Who's this creep?" Goku wondered as she studied the monstrous form in front of them.

"Shut up you moron!" the city boy cried in fear. "This is the powerful, deadly, and _forgiving_ Gyu-Mao-sama!"

"We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Oolong chanted over and over again as he shook with fear and braced himself for death.

As the group panicked and stared in fear, they completely over looked the way that the Lord had been staring at Goku, or more specifically, her cloud. "That cloud," he gasped in wonder. "Is that Kinto'un? Where'd you get it girl! Tell me!"

Goku blinked in confusion at the giant's question. "I got it from the old Turtle guy, Kame Sennin," she explained.

"Kame Sennin!" he bellowed in a mix of joy and surprise. "That's my old master! Where is he girl!? Do you know where he lives!?"

Goku shrugged as she glanced over at Bulma who was too busy trembling in terror to be of any use. "We kind of don't know," she admitted

"I-i-i-if we go to the beach," the boy began before being cut off by an over joyed Gyu-Mao.

"I'll finally be able to get my castle back!" the giant man cheered as he proceeded to shout and dance around in celebration. His cheers were short lived, however, when the large man noticed the staff that was currently strapped to Goku's back. "That staff. Is that the Nyoibu?"

"It is," Goku said, amazed that the old man had been able to guess so easily. "My Grampa gave it to me."

Gyu-Mao stared at the young girl in shock as realization slowly dawned on him. "Your..." he began slowly. "Was his name Son Gohan?"

Goku nodded.

Gyu-Mao let out a cry of joy at her response. "Well don't that beat all!" he cheered. "Gohan's granddaughter!"

"You knew my Grampa?" Goku asked excitedly.

"_'Knew'_ him?" Gyu-Mao repeated. "Girlie, Muten Roshi's number two pupil was me and his number one was your grandfather." The giant sighed wistfully as a sea of memories came flooding in. "That brings back memories."

Yamucha listened carefully to the conversation between the monkey-girl and Gyu-Mao. "I was right," she murmured as the pair listened in from a safe distance. "The kid is close to Gyu-Mao."

"She's full of surprises," Puar put in, before falling silent once more as the desert bandits listened to their conversation.

"Enough of this," Gyu-Mao said forcing himself to get serious. "Memories can wait until later. I need to ask for a favor."

"What is it?" Goku asked.

"From what I have heard," Gyu-Mao began, "I might be able to put out that big mountain fire with a device called the Basho-sen, which Muten Roshi-sama owns. Could you fly over to Muten Roshi-sama's island to borrow the thing and bring it back here?"

"Sure," she agreed easily. "Will you give us the Dragon Ball for it?"

Gyu-Mao blinked in confusion at the girl's words. "Dragon Ball?" he repeated. "What's that?"

"It looks like this," Goku said as she pulled out her grandfather's four star ball from the pouch around her waist. "Do you have one in your castle?"

The Lord hummed in thought as he studied the object in the girl's small hand. "Now that you mention it, I'm sure I've seen one of those. Sure, no sweat. For what I want that's nothing."

Bulma and Oolong cheered in relief and excitement at the Lord's words. Not only were they going to get a Dragon Ball, they weren't going to be killed by the Lord of Fry-Pan Mountain. Things were definitely looking up for the group.

From far away, Yamucha gasped in awe as she took in the sight of the tiny orange orb in the palm of the girl's hands. It was the first time she'd actually gotten a glimpse at one of the Dragon Balls, and although she had been expecting something a little more impressive, at least now she knew what they looked like.

"I'll get going now," Goku began, but before she could fly off, Gyu-Mao stopped her.

"Wait just a sec," he cried, halting the girl in her tracks. "Yesterday I sent my only son, ChiChi, out looking for my old master. If you run into him on the road, could you take him along?"

"ChiChi?" Goku repeated.

Gyu-Mao fell silent for a second as he studied the small girl on top of the cloud carefully, taking in her features as if going over something important in his head. "You two are around the same age," he mused, "and you're quite a cutie for someone so young. How about you becoming my son's bride? He's a bit of a hot head, but he'd make a good husband some day."

"What's a husband?" Goku asked innocently.

Oolong snorted, unable to hold back his laughter at the idea of what the giant's son might look like. Bulma, on the other hand, felt his body tense up as a sudden protective urge came over him and caused him to speak up.

"Uh, well," Bulma began nervously, "don't you think it's a little early to be picking out a wife for your kid? Sir?" The city boy felt like kicking himself for his rudeness. He didn't want to be killed, but he didn't like the idea of someone taking advantage of Goku's naivet. Unless, of course, that someone was himself.

Whether fortunate or not, Gyu-Mao either ignored his words or did not hear them as he pulled out a small picture of his son from his pocket. "Here's a picture," he said. "What do you think?"

From her hiding spot, Yamucha was just barely able to see the young boy in the picture and her heart stopped dead in her chest. It was the same boy from before! She had knocked out Gyu-Mao's son!

Puar must have taken a look at the photo as well as the shape shifting cat began to tremble with worry beside her mistress. "Y-Yamucha-sama!" Puar began nervously. "Th-that boy! He's the one you konked on the head!"

"And he's the Gyu-Mao's son!" Yamucha practically squeaked

Without another word, the desert bandits raced towards their capsule car, hurrying towards where they had last seen ChiChi. Luckily for the pair, the son of Gyu-Mao was still lying unconscious on the open field where they had left him. Yamucha practically leaped out of the car and towards the young boy's side. Her heart was hammering in her chest. There was no doubt that Gyu-Mao would have her head on a stick if he discovered what she'd done to his only son and heir.

"Are you alright?" she nearly shouted as she cradled the boy's unconscious form in her strong arms. "Please say you're alright."

Slowly, the child's eyes began to flutter open. The second the strange young woman holding him came into focus, he panicked. Instantly recognizing her as his attacker from before, the ChiChi reflexively made ready to fire his helmet laser.

"W-wait a minute ChiChi-san!" the woman stuttered hurriedly.

ChiChi frowned. "H-how do you know my name?" he asked suspiciously

Yamucha allowed herself a quick sigh of relief as the boy lowered his hands away from his helmet before instantly recovering herself. "I-It doesn't matter," she said in her gentlest tone. "What matters is... I want to apologize for earlier. Please forgive me." The young woman bowed her head, forcing the most bashful look she could muster to spread across her wild features. "I was just so crazy... with love-"

"'_L-love_'!?" ChiChi repeated, a deep blush quickly spreading across his face. "For who? Me?"

The desert bandit had to bite down on her lip to keep from losing her cool. She couldn't believe what she had sunk to. Flirting with a baby! "Y-yeah," she answered.

"Y-you'd better not be lying," ChiChi said menacingly. Of course, the boy would have been more menacing if he wasn't currently blushing from head to foot.

"Look at this face," Yamucha practically purred as she cupped the child's soft cheeks in her rough hands, forcing him to look her in the eye. "Does this look like the face of a liar?"

Before ChiChi could respond, he was instantly over come by the desert woman's beauty. Yamucha watched as the impossible happened; the boy's face actually managed to get redder. "Oh wow," he murmured to himself as he slowly, although reluctantly, peeled himself away from Yamucha's grasp. "An older babe in love with me! I must be quite the stud."

By this point, Yamucha was only half listening to the child's rant as she suddenly spotted Son Goku heading towards them on her little yellow cloud. She couldn't let the other girl spot her. Without another word, the bandit did the first thing she could think of; she ran away.

-+-+-+-

A million little questions were racing through ChiChi's head. An older woman was in love with him. And not just any older woman, a real beauty! He'd heard about what people do when they were in love. He read in a magazine once about hold hands and going on dates. The very idea made him tremble in a mix of excitement and joy. _Oh, but what would Pa think? Would he approve of me going out with someone so much older?_

He was just about to turn around and say something to the young woman when he noticed that she'd disappeared. "Where'd she go?" he wondered out loud. "She must be as shy as I am."

"_Hey!_"

ChiChi practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the voice from above him. Lifting his eyes upward, he was shocked to find another strange girl heading towards him riding on a yellow... cloud?

"Is your name 'ChiChi'?" the new girl asked.

ChiChi blinked in surprise. Yet another strange young woman that he'd never met before knew his name! What was going on today. "Y-yes I am," he began slowly when suddenly an idea popped into his head. "Are you in love with me, too!?" _Please say yes. Oh, please say yes,_ he found himself chanting as he took in the girl's features. She was only a little bit taller than him, and wore baggy clothes and had a wild look about her. Yet her large black eyes and sweet face made his heart pound in his chest and his palms begin to sweat.

Unfortunately for ChiChi the girl didn't say she loved him. In stead, she gave him a confused look and attempted to change the subject. "You're Gyu-Mao's son, right?" she repeated.

He blinked, pulled out of his fantasy world. "You know my Pa?"

"Yeah, he said I should pick you up and help you borrow something from somebody."

ChiChi gasped in disbelief at this new bit of information. This girl was going to help him get the Basho Sen from Muten Roshi? "No way! Really?"

"Just hop on my Kinto'un and I'll take you," she instructed.

"Y-you can ride on that ball of cotton candy?"

"Well, only if your heart is clean and pure."

ChiChi beamed proudly at her words. "Well then I'm on!" he cheered. "My heart is as clean as a flushed toilet!"

The girl cringed slightly at his comment, but said nothing. ChiChi scrambled onto the cloud, a task more difficult than it appeared. The poor boy wasn't able to get a proper foot hold. Luckily, he spotted the rope sticking out of the girl's pants and grabbed on, pulling himself upward. "Okay," he said once he was seated firmly on the cloud. "I'm on."

Unfortunately, it was then that the girl choose to tip over and fell face first on the ground.

"W-what happened?" he asked.

"J-just don't grab my tail okay?" the girl said once she was able to stand again. "It drains all my energy."

"What are you doing with a tail anyway!?" ChiChi half shrieked, but before the girl could answer, they were off.

Yamucha smirked triumphantly at this new piece of information. So Gohan's Granddaughter had a weakness after all. Well, now victory really was within her grasps. All she had to do was wait until the kids gathered all seven Dragon Balls and snatch them away. If Son Goku gave her any trouble, it would just be a simple matter of grabbing the girl's tail.


	8. Kamehameha

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 8** Kamehameha

Goku shifted uncomfortably as ChiChi clung tightly to her arm. She made sure to keep her tail out of reach from the boy's hands. She didn't want him to grab it again by mistake.

It was then that it suddenly occurred to her that she didn't know for sure if ChiChi was a boy or a girl. She frowned, turning to study the... _person_ behind her. ChiChi was built a bit like Bulma -- flat and lean -- so that must mean ChiChi was a boy. Then again, she had to know for sure. Reaching out her foot, she managed to tap the boy's crotch gently with her toes.

"You have a wee-wee," Goku announced suddenly, completely missing the stunned look on ChiChi's suddenly pale features. "You must be a boy."

"Of course I'm a boy!" he hollered indignantly. "If you couldn't tell, you coulda just asked!" The boy frowned in embarrassment. Never had he met a girl this strange before. _But, if she's being this forward with me, it must mean that she w-wants me, _ChiChi thought as a deep blush suddenly spread across his face.

"Well, all I know is that Old Man Kame Sennin lives in the ocean," Goku announced, getting back to the task at hand. "But the ocean's _huge_. We should ask someone for directions."

"Whatever you say, dear," ChiChi giggled as he moved his hands from around Goku's arm to around her waist, pressing their bodies closer together. Goku squirmed uncomfortably, but said nothing as they continued on their quest.

It wasn't long before the pair found a helpful dolphin who was able to point them in the right direction. After that, it wasn't long before the children spotted a tiny island with a small pink house. The two knew right away that this was where they would find Kame Sennin.

"Anybody home?" Goku cried as the two approached the small island. It was then that the girl stopped the old man and the turtle not far from the front of the house. She smiled brightly as they came closer towards them.

"Well hello there," Kame Sennin called when he spotted the pair. "How's the Kinto'un holding up girl?"

"It's great," she said cheerfully as she hopped off the cloud and onto the island.

ChiChi watched quietly as the two exchanged greetings, sliding off of Kinto'un and onto the sandy beach below. He frowned, taking in the old man's frail, bent form. There was no way this hermit could be the invincible old master his father had spoken about. There had to be some mistake.

It was then that the old man finally took notice to ChiChi's presence. "Say now," he began as he studied the dark haired boy, "the young man with you... hasn't he shrunk a bit?"

ChiChi wrinkled his nose in confusion. He couldn't tell whether the old man was being serious or trying to be funny. "No, no," Goku corrected. "This is Gyu-Mao's kid."

Kame Sennin raised his eyebrows in surprise at her statement. "What? This is his son? Can't be!"

"Yeah, his name is ChiChi," Goku introduced causing ChiChi to bow his head respectfully.

"ChiChi, huh?" the hermit mused. "Strange name for a young boy."

The boy felt his face flush bright red at the old man's words. He despised his given name. Whenever he was introduced to someone new they would either laugh or comment on how strange it was. He was grateful that dear, sweet Goku had had the good sense not to say anything about it.

"One is ChiChi and the other has chichis," Muten Roshi mused. "Small chichis, but chichis still. So that makes two chichis. No, three chichis."

The boy scowled as the old hermit continued to ramble on about "chichis." Now he was certain that this wasn't the old master they were looking for. "This creepy old man isn't _really_ Muten Roshi, is he?" ChiChi whispered to Goku.

Goku merely blinked in confusion at the boy's words. "You don't think so?"

"I'm gonna put him to the test," he said, reaching for the blade on his helmet. "My Pa's real master outta be able to dodge this!"

With that, the young man hurled his blade at the distracted old man before either Goku or Umigame could stop him. Fortunately, Kame Sennin spotted the weapon from the corner of his eye, and spun around to deflect it with his staff...

... Only to have the wooden staff be sliced in two and the blade embed itself into his skull.

Umigame and Goku gasped as they watched the old man wail in pain as he attempted to remove the blade from his head. ChiChi, however, was not at all effected by this sudden development.

"I knew it!" he cried accusingly. "You're _not_ the invincible old master that trained my father!"

"Not even an invincible master is that quick you idiot!" Kame Sennin howled in outrage.

"So _prove_ you're really Muten Roshi!"

"Here!" the old man yelled as he pulled out a card from his back pocket. "Take a look at my driver's license! What does that say?"

The child gasped as it suddenly dawned on him that he had made a grave mistake. "I'm so sorry," he gasped as he helped to pull out his blade from the old man's head. "I didn't know! Please forgive me. I suppose I can be a little hasty at times."

Muten Roshi scowled in annoyance at the boy. He instantly disliked him and decided it would be best to simply ignore the child for the remainder of his "visit." "So, Goku," he said, addressing the wild haired girl. "What brings you here, anyway?"

"Oh! I almost forgot," she gasped. She'd been so caught up in what was happening that the Basho Sen had completely slipped her mind. "Do you have the Basho Sen?"

"The Basho Sen?" he repeated thoughtfully. "The magical fan that can raise a typhoon with one wave, a thunderstorm with two, and a monsoon with three? _That_ Basho Sen? Of course I have it. But why do you want it?"

"Just to borrow!" ChiChi jumped in suddenly. The idea of finally being able to put out the fire that had surrounded his home for years was too much for him. He could only pray that Muten Roshi would forgive him for earlier and allow them to have the fan. "We need it to put out Fry-Pan Mountain's fire!"

"We'll bring it right back," Goku promised. "And we won't get it burned."

"Fry-Pan Mountain's fire?" Kame Sennin mused. He had heard the stories about his former pupil's plight and he knew that it was _possible_ the Basho Sen would put out the flames of Fry-Pan Mountain, but he wasn't about to give away his magical fan for nothing. He glanced over at young Goku. He already had the girl's panties and he had no use for someone so... young. Yet there must be something he could gain from the monkey tailed girl. It was then that an idea suddenly came to the old man. "Alright," he said finally. "I shall lend it to you."

"Yay!" ChiChi cheered, jumping a good foot into the air in pure joy! Soon he and his father would be able to return home. His problems would be solved once and for all! "Thank you so much!"

"However!" Kame Sennin interjected. "There is one condition." He paused as he waved towards Goku, indicating that the girl should come towards him. "Let me have a word with you Goku-chan."

Goku blinked in surprise, but did as she was told. "What is it?" she asked.

"I'll lend you the fan," he began, "but you must give me something in exchange."

The young girl wrinkled her nose at his words. She didn't really have anything that she could give the old man and she hoped he wouldn't ask for her Grampa or her Nyoibo. Suddenly, the child wished that Bulma was there. He was good at handling these types of situation.

"After I lend you the fan," he continued a broad smile crossing his face, "I want you to find me a pichi pichi young girl."

"Now really sir!" Umigame scolded

"Shh!" he hissed suddenly. "No need to make it so public."

"But, Kame Sennin," Goku cut in suddenly. "I'm already on a quest. I don't know if Bulma would let me go find you a ... a bitchy bitchy girl."

"_Pichi pichi_," Kame Sennin corrected quickly. "No girl, then no fan."

The girl frowned. She didn't even know what he meant by a "pichi pichi girl," but it seemed if she didn't give the old man what he wanted, he wouldn't give them the fan. Which would mean that they wouldn't be able to get the Dragon Ball and poor ChiChi and his father wouldn't be able to get back into their castle.

"Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "I'll find a girl for you."

"Wonderful!" the Hermit cheered. "Now this is a secret, you understand? Just between you and me." Goku nodded. She didn't really understand, but she did know that she had to do this for the Dragon Ball. "Good. Now you just wait here while I get the Basho Sen." With that, the old man disappeared inside the pink house to search for the fan.

The two children waited patiently as the hermit searched his home from top to bottom for the magical fan, only to discover that it was no where to be found.

"Hey Umigame," the old man began, "you wouldn't happen to know where I put the Basho Sen."

"If I'm not mistaken you were using it as a pot holder last."

The old master blinked in surprise as the memory suddenly resurfaced. "You don't mean that... was the _magical fan_? I spilled wonton soup on it and threw it away."

"You threw it away!?" ChiChi hollered in disbelief. He could practically feel his heart collapse on itself. He was so close. "Now we'll never go home."

"I guess we'll give up the Dragon Ball too," Goku added, disappointment clear in her tone. What was she going to tell Bulma? The city boy would be positively crushed when he found out he wouldn't be able to get the ball.

It was then that a determined look suddenly crossed the old master's face. "Never fear," he announced. "Since this is my fault, I shall personally go to Fry-Pan Mountain and put out the flame myself!"

The two children turned to look at the hermit in stunned disbelief. "You can really do that Old Timer?" Goku asked.

"Of course I can! There's nothing I can't do."

Kame Sennin disappeared into the house for a moment, only to reappear in an outfit befitting a master martial artist. "Alright," he said. "Let's go."

"But Old Timer, you can't ride the Kinto'un remember? How will you get to Fry-Pan Mountain?"

Kame Sennin chuckled as if the girl had asked him a ridiculous question. "I am the Turtle Master, am I not?" Before either child could say anything, the old man suddenly raised his staff high into the air and cried, "Come to me! Game-Chan!

It was then that a creature that looked as if it were a cross between a turtle and a dinosaur appeared in the sky and flew towards them, spinning around in the air at a great speed before landing in front of Kame Sennin. "At your service, my lord," Game-Chan said obediently.

-+-+-+-

Bulma groaned. He was now officially drenched in sweat. He couldn't take waiting a second longer. If Goku didn't come back with the fan soon, he was going to throw himself into the fire just to end his suffering.

"Hey! It's Goku and the boy!" Oolong cried suddenly, much to Bulma's relief.

"Sorry we took so long," Goku said as she and ChiChi hopped off her Kinto'un. "We weren't able to find the Basho Sen, but Old Man Kame Sennin said he'd put out the fire himself."

Just as she had mentioned the old man, he appeared riding on Game-Chan.

"Muten Roshi-sama!" Gyu-Mao cheered as soon as the old man landed. "Long time no see!"

Before he could even bother to return the greeting, Kame Sennin suddenly turned... and threw up. "I hate flying," he groaned between coughs.

The group groaned at the sight. ChiChi was once again having very serious doubts about this old man being able to put out the flames.

Kame Sennin quickly recovered himself, as he turned to study the mountain covered in flames. "So that's the inferno, huh?" he mused.

"Can you really put it out, Old Timer?" Goku asked suddenly. She was really excited to see what kind of trick the old man would use to put out this flame. It had to be something spectacular. After all, this old man had trained her Grandfather. He must be really something.

"Gyu-Mao," Kame Sennin began, ignoring Goku's question. "Getting a bad reputation lately? I've heard that treasure of yours has cost quite a few lives."

"Alas Master, you speak the truth," Gyu-Mao began as he got on his hands and knees before the Turtle Hermit. "Oh the shame I bare! I've been blinded by greed, but now I see the light! If you douse these flames, I promise to destroy my treasure."

"No need to get carried away," Kame Sennin muttered. "Although I'm surprised you weren't able to put out this flame by yourself." With that, the old man removed his Turtle shell and shirt exposing his bony body and frail arms. "Let's get down to it," he said as he scrambled up the side of a wall (with a little help from Goku).

Suddenly, _everyone_ was starting to have doubts that he'd be able to put out the massive fire.

"Okay, here goes," he sighed before taking in a deep breath and flexing his muscle. It was then that his body suddenly swelled to nearly the size of Gyu-Mao himself, his arms and chest bulging with muscles. The group gaped in awe as he continued to flex and groan, seeming to ready himself for something massive.

"It's building!" Gyu-Mao cried as soon as he recognized the stance. "He's going to use the Kamehameha!"

The group shuddered as Muten Roshi clasped his hands together towards his side. "Ka... me..." With each syllable, the air around him seemed to crack and sizzle with intense energy. "Ha... me..." A ball of brilliant blue light seemed to be glowing in the palm of the old man's hands. None of them could believe what they were seeing. The old man had actually managed to gather pure energy into the palm of his hands! "_HA_!" With the sudden cry, the old man pushed his hands forward and fired the beam of energy towards the mountain. The ground shook as the whole world seemed to be engulfed in a massive blue light.

When it was all cleared, the group was left gaping in complete and utter awe. Not only had the frail old man put out the fire, he had also completely destroyed Fry-Pan Mountain, castle and all!

-+-+-+-

After a few minutes of searching through the rubble with Oolong, Bulma had managed to find the seven star Dragon Ball underneath the pile of stones that had once been Gyu-Mao's castle.

"It certainly will be a lot cooler around here, that's for sure," Gyu-Mao observed lightly.

"Especially without your house," Kame Sennin added as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Don't worry," ChiChi said cheerfully. "We can always build another one."

"That was a really neat trick, Old Timer," Goku said, her tail wagging behind her in excitement. "Can you teach it to me?"

"Sorry m'dear, but it took me fifty years to finally master that technique."

Goku pouted in disappointment. She couldn't wait fifty years to learn a cool move like that. She wanted to do it now! Putting her hands together, she mimicked the old man's moves perfectly and with a thrust of her hands, she managed to create just enough energy to nearly crumple the car she and the others had been using.

Kame Sennin, Gyu-Mao, and ChiChi all stared in awe at what they'd just witnessed. After seeing the move only _once_ Goku had done what had taken a martial arts master fifty years to accomplish!

"She's Gohan's granddaughter alright," Gyu-Mao mused.

Kame Sennin raised an eyebrow at his comment. "Gohan's granddaughter, you say? Now that you mention it, I do recall Gohan speaking about finding a girl with a monkey tail." He smirked as he approached the young girl, who was currently fretting over how to explain the damaged car to Bulma. "So, how is ol' Gohan doing?"

Goku blinked as she turned towards the old man. "Okay, I guess," she said flatly "He's dead."

The old Hermit flinched as if the girl had taken a swing at him. "Dead!" he gasped. "My my what a loss... in that case, m'dear, would you care to move in with me? I'd be more than happy to offer you some training."

"Of course!" Goku replied happily. "After we gather the last Dragon Ball I'll be sure to go back to your place. But what about the pichi pichi girl?"

Kame Sennin smirked as he waved his hand dismissively. "We'll put that on hold for now. You go off and finish your quest first."

"Okay!"

"We found it!" Bulma announced as he returned with the ball in his hand. "Seven star ball! That's six down and one to go!" His happiness was short lived however, when he laid eyes on the wrecked car. "What happened to our car!? It's ruined! Now what are we supposed to do!?"

"If it's a car you need," Gyu-Mao began as he pulled out a capsule from his pocket. "Just take mine." With that, the massive man flicked out the capsule and with a BOM and a cloud of smoke a hover car appeared.

"Thank you!" Bulma cheered as they all hopped into the vehicle.

Before the group could leave, ChiChi approached the car blushing slightly as he gazed adoringly at Goku. "Hey Goku," he began shyly, gaining the girl's attention. "I was wondering... When we're old enough... Will you...? Would you...? Do you want to get married?"

Goku blinked several times, not at all grasping the boy's words. "Married?" she repeated. "What's that?"

ChiChi's face reddened even more at the girl's naive question. "Oh, don't play innocent," he chuckled. "I promise I'll make a good husband for you."

"Well if you're going to make something for me," she began, completely missing the boy's meaning, "I'll be sure to come back for it."

The boy's face lit up brighter than the sun at Goku's words. He felt like jumping for joy! He never would have guessed she'd say yes! Now he had to find a ring! "Oh Goku!" He cheered throwing his arms around the stunned girl's neck. "You've made me so happy!"

"Hey! Hey!" Bulma shouted once he had seen the display in his rear view mirror. "Hands off _my_ jungle freak!"

ChiChi instantly retreated as the older boy started the engine. Bulma could go ahead and call Goku his, but ChiChi knew who the girl _really_ belonged to. A smile crossed his face as he began to tremble with anticipation. He had a feeling that Goku would make a beautiful bride.

"Okay, we're off!" Bulma announced as the car roared to life and the group drove away.

"Come back anytime!" Gyu-Mao called.

"Don't forget your promise, Goku!" ChiChi cried, knowing that one way or another he _would_ make Goku his bride.

-+-+-+-

"What did that ChiChi kid say to you?" Bulma asked once they were far enough away from Fry-Pan Mountain. He didn't trust that little brat. He'd spent _way_ too much time alone with poor, naive Son-kun. The last thing he wanted was for the kid to get any _ideas_.

Goku blinked. "I dunno," she shrugged.

"Well, it's fine," he grumbled. _She'll never see him again anyway. I'm sure of it._ "Six balls down and one to go!" Bulma suddenly reminded the group. "We're so close to the last ball that I can practically taste strawberry lip gloss."

Oolong merely stared in stunned silence at the statement, while Goku cheered about how she would see a real dragon. All the while the trio was completely oblivious to the fact that they were still being closely followed by a pair of desert thieves.


	9. The Last Ball

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 9** The Last Ball

Oolong shifted uneasily as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His stomach was clenched and his palms were beginning to sweat. They were heading straight for danger, he just knew it, yet his two traveling companions didn't seem to care at all! Being the only sane one in the group was really starting to take it's tole on the poor pig.

Bulma on the other hand, was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement. Things were really looking better. They'd finally found a small town where he'd been able to get some new clothes to wear. He had purchased a pair of sandals, beige pants, a loose white shirt, and a blue vest to go over it. They weren't exactly his style, but after spending a little more than a week running around in his underwear, the city boy was just happy to slip into something decent. Not to mention they'd restocked on their capsules so they wouldn't have to worry about Gyu-Mao's car breaking down. Of course, best of all was that they were closing in on the final Dragon Ball!

The young man let out a little cheer as he glanced down at his Dragon Radar. "It's in the bag," he said triumphantly.

Oolong frowned at the human's words. It suddenly occurred to the shape shifter that he had no idea what they were practically killing themselves for. The young man had told him earlier that _he_ would be the one making the wish, but he had never told Oolong what that wish would be.

"Hey Bulma," Oolong began as he glanced over his shoulder at the teenager currently sitting in the back passenger seat. "I've been meaning to ask, after you get all the Dragon Balls what are you going to wish for?"

A broad grin suddenly spread across the boy's face as he sat up a little straighter, puffing out his chest. "Haven't I told you?" he smirked. "I'm going to wish for the ultimate babe of a girlfriend!"

The pig practically did a double take at the young man's declaration. He couldn't have been serious! _That_ was his wish? He turned to study the teenager's features to see if there was any trace of humor in his expression, but there was none. "A girlfriend!?" he repeated. "You mean I've been risking my neck so some brat can get himself a _girlfriend_!?"

Bulma felt his eyebrow tick in annoyance. "Not some 'brat'," he growled. "_Me_! And you should be proud to be contributing to such a worthy cause!"

Oolong scoffed. "Yeah right," he groused. "This whole trip is just a way to help you get laid!"

"You're just jealous!" he seethed.

In truth, Oolong _was_ jealous. This spoiled brat was going to walk away with a beautiful babe to wrap his arms around, while Oolong would be left empty handed. It wasn't fair! "You'd better give me some time with her as a reward for all my hard work!"

"Yeah right! You're not going anywhere near _my_ girlfriend," he declared. He paused for a moment before adding, "Same goes for Son-kun! So don't even think about asking."

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A dark haired woman wearing a long gray trench coat frowned as she watched from on top of a tall rock as the trio of bickering children pass by in their hover car. "Pilaf-sama," she said into her walkie talkie. "I'm in area H-15 and one car has just passed through."

"That's got to be the one!" a male voice crackled from the radio. "Commence the operation!"

"Yes my lord," she replied obediently. "Shuu, can you see the car?"

"Yes," another voice replied.

"They've got them," she said slowly, "the Dragon Balls."

-+-+-+-

"After everything we've been through," Oolong yelled, continuing his argument with the young man, "couldn't you use them for something we could _all_ enjoy?"

"Oh shut it!" Bulma practically roared. He was sick and tired of the greedy little pig trying to convince him to change his wish. This was what he wanted and this was what he was going to get! Nothing would change that, especially not some perverted shape shifter. "What have _you_ done for _me_ anyway?"

Oolong was just about to list all the things he had done for the selfish young man, but a screeching sound stopped him mid sentence. Just as he turned towards the source of the noise, he found himself flying through the air as their hover car was blown into piece. The trio landed a good half mile away from the road as little metal pieces rained down on them.

"Wow!" Goku gasped, still shaking from the shock of being flung unexpectedly through the air. "That was scary."

Just as she spoke, a robot popped up out of nowhere and landed right in front of the smoking remains of their vehicle. The trio merely stared in shock as the robot rummaged through their belongings before finally grabbing the suit case holding their Dragon Balls. The robot turned, revealing a humanoid dog dressed in ninja like clothing was piloting the suit. "Thanks for the Dragon Balls, chumps!" he cried, just before flying away.

"What's he dressed up for?" Goku gaped, still feeling completely lost.

Before she could even begin to grasp what had just taken place, Bulma was at her side, giving her an ear full. "Will you just shut up and catch him!" the young man screeched. "He's getting away with our Dragon Balls!"

Bulma's words were enough to snap Goku out of her day dreams. She quickly called for Kinto'un and gave chase. It didn't take long for the young girl to track down the creature that had stolen their balls standing alone in the middle of the desert. She hopped off her cloud and quickly grabbed her Nyoibu.

"Hey!" she cried, landing in a fighting stance in front of the monster. "You shouldn't steal other people's things."

Silence.

The creature didn't even flinch as she tapped him with the tip of her staff.

"That's strange," she mused as she gave it one big whack. Goku watched in silence as the creature tipped over and laid still on the ground. "It just... died?"

-+-+-+-

Meanwhile, Bulma didn't know whether he wanted to scream or cry. His Dragon Balls were gone. After all he worked for, after how far he'd gone... "Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that others know about the Dragon Balls," he said, speaking more to himself than to Oolong. "They were chronicled in ancient documents after all."

"Well, let's just give up," Oolong offered. "We're really screwed now."

"Are you nuts!" Bulma scoffed. "I'm not going to just go home after all that!" Just as he spoke, Goku reappeared. "Hey! What's the news!"

"I took him out," she said proudly as she stepped off her cloud.

"And the Dragon Balls?"

"They weren't there."

"Then what are you doing back here!" the boy practically bellowed, but he knew in his heart it was all over. "They've probably got the last ball already!" he whimpered. "And with the ones they've stolen, they'll have all seven!"

"I've still got mine," Goku reminded him, pointing to her hip pouch.

Bulma felt his ears perk up at the jungle girl's words. There was still hope! Surely this was a sign that someone out there wanted him to complete his quest! "This is perfect!" he cheered. "Now, we'll just use the Dragon Radar to find those balls."

"Great, except how do we get there without a car?" Oolong reminded.

"You underestimate me, bucko!" Bulma chided cockily. "I bought a whole bunch of capsules at the last town..." The young man felt the color drain from his face as he suddenly remembered something. "My capsules were in the bag... with the balls..."

Now Bulma started to cry.

-+-+-+-

Yamucha seethed as she watched the group from a safe distance. When she had seen Goku fly off, she'd hoped the little girl would retrieve the stolen balls, but no such luck. Now they really were in a fix.

"It looks like they were stolen, alright," Puar pointed out dryly.

The thief cringed as she listened to Bulma weeping in the distance. "My Dragon Balls... stolen!" she frowned, chewing on her lip as she slipped into the driver's seat of their capsule car. "It can't be helped. It looks like we'll have to lend them a hand." As soon as Puar slipped in beside her, Yamucha started the hover car and approached the down trodden trio. She felt her heart slamming against her chest as her body began to shake and her breathing became more ragged. She _really_ didn't want to be so close to a _boy_, but it looked like she had no choice if she was going to get the Dragon Balls back.

"My my my," Yamucha cried, trying her best to sound cheery and upbeat instead of frightened and nervous. "What a coincidence! What are you doing out here?"

Goku turned and smiled warmly at the desert dweller. "Hey, it's Yamucha!"

Bulma pulled himself together in the blink of an eye, not wanting this beautiful creature to see him falling to pieces and crying like a baby. "Oh! Yamucha!" he swooned, not noticing how the girl cringed at the sound of his voice.

"It looks like you guys can use a lift," Yamucha said, waving towards her passenger door. "Hop in!"

The young man practically tore the door off it's hinges as he slid in beside Yamucha, knocking Puar into the backseat. "Hope you don't mind," he chuckled smoothly.

Yamucha turned three shades whiter as the young man, gently placed his soft hand on her thigh. "I... I d-don't mind," she stuttered as he began to caress her leg gently.

Since their capsule car was only built to seat two, Oolong was forced to grip onto the back of the driver's seat. He didn't mind of course, since it was a perfect angle to watch Yamucha's full bosom move up and down with every quivering breath. "Thanks alot," Oolong said, trying his best not to drool too much.

"It doesn't looks like there's anymore room, Son-kun," Bulma said, looking at how tight they already were.

"That's okay, I'll just ride Kinto'un." That said, the young girl called her magical cloud and hopped on.

"A-a-alright," Yamucha stammered. "L-l-let's g-go."

-+-+-+-

"I wish you had counted the balls before you took them," Emperor Pilaf chided as his two servants bowed their heads in shame.

"We're so sorry sir," Mai offered.

"I guess I didn't use my noodle," Shuu mumbled in shame.

"Well, no matter," Pilaf began as he noticed the faint "plinking" noises coming off his Dragon Ball tracker. "It looks like the other one is headed this way now." The tiny blue creature cackled evilly. "This must be my lucky day! What a no fuss recipe for world dominat-"

"Pilaf-sama," Mai called, pulling the Emperor out of his musings. "They're here!"

"Already? They must be those new 'instant enemies.'"

-+-+-+-

Bulma gasped as he studied the massive castle in the middle of the vast desert. The Dragon Radar was clearly indicating that _this_ was where their Dragon Balls had been taken. From the size of their enemy's base, it was clear that searching for the balls would be no walk in the park.

"Wow!" Goku gaped as she took in the sight before her. "It's huge!"

"Well, let's go," Bulma suggested, nodding towards the front door.

"You're kidding, right?" Oolong cut in suddenly. "You don't just expect to walk in there and find the balls, do you? They're probably waiting for us!"

"Well we won't get anywhere just standing around!" Bulma pointed out. He didn't want to go wandering around blindly either, but this was the only way they'd be able to get the Dragon Balls back.

Without another word, Goku hopped off of her Kinto'un and approached the great, metal double doors of the castle. Laying her hands flat against them, she was surprised when they eased open in front of her. "It's open," she announced.

"That's a bad sign," Yamucha mused as she approached the castle, Puar floating not far above her.

The group slipped inside, each readying themselves for some sort of trap or surprise waiting for them. They found themselves in a darkened brick hallway with no windows or decorations to speak of. They crept along in silence, keeping themselves pressed closely against the walls.

"Watch yourselves," Yamucha whispered. "I don't think we're dealing with ordinary bandits."

"Y-yeah," Bulma agreed softly.

It was then that Goku spotted something drawn on the floor. "What's this?" she asked curiously.

"It's an arrow," Yamucha informed her. She frowned, noticing that it was pointing ahead of them. "I wonder what it's for..."

"There must be something in that direction," Bulma suggested.

"There's another one here!" Goku called.

The children hesitantly followed the arrows, cautious of where they might lead them. Unfortunately, they quickly found themselves facing nothing more than a blank wall.

"It's a dead end!" Goku cried and as soon as the words left her mouth, another wall slid down behind them, trapping the Dragon Ball hunters where they stood.

-+-+-+-

Mai blinked in surprise as she watched the children panic and screech in dismay at their current predicament. _I can't believe it. We got them._ "Well," she said out loud. "That was easy."

"I never believed there were people that stupid," Pilaf muttered, astonished that his enemies had fallen for such an obvious trap. Not that it mattered. Soon the last ball would be in his possession and the world in his grasp. Soon, not a leader on Earth would be able to make a move without consent from Emperor Pilaf!

-+-+-+-

"There's no way out!" Yamucha practically screeched as she continued pounding on the stone walls. She didn't know what was worse, the fact that she didn't know what their enemy would do to them or the fact that she was trapped in the tiny room with a _boy_! She was lucky to have Puar there to console her.

"I told you we shouldn't have come here!" Oolong yelled.

"I can't even punch through these walls," Goku pouted as she rubbed her sore fists.

"Hello there!" a voice called out. It was only then that the group noticed the television screen and video camera mounted to the wall in front of them. "I am Emperor Pilaf."

"So you're the one who stole _my_ Dragon Balls," Bulma roared furiously. The tiny blue freak had better pray they didn't come face to face, because Bulma knew he wouldn't need Goku to help take out the little twerp.

"All except for one," Pilaf corrected. "You have the ball with four stars in it. Give it to me now... and you'll remain on the side of Pilaf."

"Forget it!" Bulma huffed, raising his middle finger towards the self proclaimed "Emperor." "You'd have to pry it from our cold dead hands!"

Pilaf growled in annoyance at the boy's response. "Have it your way!" he seethed, just as the screen turned blank.

As soon as Pilaf's image had disappeared, the vents began filling the room with a strange smelling gas. The group began to gag uncontrollably before eventually being knocked unconscious by the sleeping gas.

-+-+-+-

Once they were certain the children were fast asleep, Pilaf lifted the wall, revealing a group of unconscious teenagers. The short blue creature laughed menacingly at the sight. "Sleeping like babies," he joked. "Now let's find that Dra... Dragon... buh...buh..." Before Pilaf could finish his sentence, he collapsed on the floor, sound asleep.

"Oh Pilaf-sama!" Shuu cried from behind his gas mask as he saw his Emperor fall to the ground.

"He forgot to put on his gas mask," Mai sighed, as she secured her own masking, making sure she didn't end up unconscious like her master. "Stay with him. I'll find that Dragon Ball."

As soon as the group regained consciousness, they redoubled their efforts to free themselves. Sadly, every punch and kick Yamucha and Goku gave the stone walls had absolutely no effect. They couldn't even so much as put a crack in the walls.

-+-+-+-

"It's no use!" Yamucha cried in dismay. "The wall's too solid! I can't break through."

"It's too late!" Bulma panicked. "He probably got his wish granted while we were still unconscious!"

At that moment, a light bulb seemed to go off in Yamucha's head. _She_ might not be able to break free, but there might be away that Goku could get them out. "Goku!" she shouted, gaining the girl's attention. "You have to use the Kamehameha! That trick the old hermit showed you!"

Goku blinked in startled surprise. Yamucha had been no where near them when Kame Sennin had fired his Kamehameha, so how would the desert bandit know about it, let alone that _she_ had also done it? "How do you know about that?"

Yamucha stiffened at her words. She didn't exactly want to let the others know that she'd been following them ever since they'd left the desert. "I-it's not important right now!" she yelled, her embarrassment clear on her face and in her tone despite her best efforts. "Just do it!"

"Okay, okay," Goku agreed. "I'll do it."

The group held their breath as they watched Goku try to remember how she had performed the attack before. The girl crouched down, pulling her hands to her side. "Ka... me..." A small ball of light began to flash to life between her cupped hands. "Ha... me..." The blue energy began to grow bigger and bigger with each syllable. "_Ha!_" Thrusting her arms forward, she unleashed a beam of energy straight towards the wall.

-+-+-+-

By the time Emperor Pilaf had regained consciousness, it was already pitch black outside. Of course, this didn't stop the would be ruler from wanting to have his wish granted right away.

"I still feel a bit sleepy," Pilaf yawned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "But you did well my Kernels. I mean Colonels. All seven balls are ours! And now there shall be no power on Earth greater than Pilaf!"

Without another word, Pilaf had Shuu lay out the seven balls in a circle in front of him. The henchmen took a few steps backwards as Pilaf bent over the glowing orbs, his eyes dancing with excitement.

"Get ready!" he cried. "I'm about to call forth the Dragon God." With that, he thrust his hands forward and made ready.

-+-+-+-

"Oops!" Goku giggled as she pointed towards the small hole she had made in the wall. "I don't have a lot of practice! I thought the hole would be bigger." It was true, the hole couldn't have been much larger than the average dinner plate, but it was good enough. Fortunately for the group, the wall was facing towards the outside world, giving them a clear view of the night sky.

"That's good enough," Yamucha said hurriedly as she practically shoved the young girl out of her way. "They're out there!" Yamucha informed the group as she peaked out of the small passage. "And it looks like the Dragon hasn't appeared yet!"

"What?" Bulma gasped. His heart was slamming against his chest. There might be just enough time to stop that little blue creep from getting his wish.

"Puar!" Yamucha called to her faithful cat. "Transform into a bat and fly through this hole! Try to steal back one of the balls while there's still time!"

"Can do!" Puar said obediently, and with a puff of smoke, she reappeared as herself, but with bat wings.

"You're brilliant!" Bulma cheered, before turning towards Oolong. "What are you doing just standing there and staring? Oolong, get out there and help her!"

Oolong blinked in shock at the human's words. "Wh-who me?"

"Make yourself useful for once!" Bulma seethed menacingly. "Or I'll personally make your life a living hell!"

"I'll go! I'll go!"


	10. The Wish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 10** The Wish

"Come forth Dragon and grant me this wish!" Pilaf called commandingly, and as soon as the words left his mouth the balls erupted in a magnificent golden light.

The light soon turned into a giant beam that shot from the ground and straight towards the sky. Pilaf and his men gaped in wonder as the golden light began to bend, twisting and turning into itself, before finally taking on the form of an enormous dragon. The light soon faded into a soft glow that surrounded the monstrous green Dragon God, Shenlong.

The group quaked in terror as Shenlong bent downward to stare at them.

"Un... unbelievable," Pilaf gasped.

"That's bigger than... than a crocodile," Mai babbled, dumbfounded by the sight of the great Dragon.

"**Reflect upon your desires Mortals,**" Shenlong's massive voice boomed. "**For I shall grant any wish... but only one...**"

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Bulma's heart was racing as he gazed upon the magnificent creature. All thoughts of his own wish quickly left his head as he took in the sight. The legends were true after all, there really was a wish granting Dragon! He had always told himself to believe, but in actuality, he wasn't expecting something so... so awe inspiring.

"They already summoned it!" Yamucha cried, pulling Bulma out of his fantasy world.

He suddenly remember that he was not just about to loose his wish, but that Pilaf was about to gain control of the world! "Our last hope," he groaned. "Smashed!"

"Hey!" Goku whined, hopping up and down behind the two teenagers in displeasure. "I wanna see too!"

The group held their collective breaths as they listened to the Dragon God's voice boom from across the sky.

"**Reflect upon your desires Mortals**," Shenlong roared. "**For I shall grant any wish... but only one...**"

"I can't believe he's getting absolute power!" Yamucha groused.

"After everything we've suffered!" Bulma whimpered. _Goodbye dream girl._

-+-+-+-

Puar and Oolong had long since transformed back into their natural states as they continued to stare in a mixture of awe and horror at the sight before them. He had summoned the Dragon. Pilaf was about to rule the world. Nothing could be done now.

"Something tells me now would be a good time to disappear," Oolong said, trembling in terror.

"It's telling me the same thing," Puar agreed.

It was then, however, that Oolong came up with a much better idea. _Wait a minute. If I say something first..._ With that thought in his head, Oolong charged towards Pilaf and his minions, praying that he would make it in time.

"Okay," Pilaf began, taking a deep calming breath. "I wish to rule-"

Yet before the blue creature could finish his sentence the pig came running towards them, cutting him off mid breath.

"_The panties off a hot babe_!" Oolong yelled at the top of his lungs, hoping the Dragon would be able to hear his wish from where he stood.

There was a long moment of stunned silence as Pilaf and his men simply stood there looking at the pig, wondering how he had managed to escape from his cell, when suddenly something fell from the sky. Or rather, floated downward. Oolong lifted his eyes up skyward and found that his wish had indeed been granted as a pair of delicate cotton panties wafted down from the heavens and fell comfortably onto his face.

"**Your wish is granted**," Shenlong declared, as the ground beneath him began to flash as beams of light shot up into the sky. "**Fare you well.**" And with that, the Dragon God was engulfed by a great light as he disappeared from sight. The seven balls that had been placed on the ground quickly floated into the air before shooting off into different directions.

-+-+-+-

It didn't take long for Pilaf's men to recapture Oolong and Puar. Once they did, they moved them and the rest of their group into a different cell. This one with metal walls and floors and a glass ceiling. Goku had attempted to use her head to smash through the glass, but to no avail.

"Dammit!" Yamucha seethed. "If we don't find a way out of here, we'll be dead! And then we'll never be able to gather those Dragon Balls!"

"We can't gather them again for awhile anyway," Bulma stated morosely from his spot curled up on the floor. He was feeling positively awful now that he knew his wish wouldn't be granted. Worse still, he was going to die a virgin! It was starting to look pretty clear that God hated him.

"What do you mean?" Yamucha asked slowly.

Bulma frowned as he hugged his knees tighter against his flat chest. He explained to his companions how once a wish is granted by the Dragon God, the balls not only scatter across the globe, they also turn into ordinary stones for one whole year. Thus making it impossible to locate the magical spheres with his Dragon Radar.

The group stared in disappointment at his words. "A whole year?" Goku repeated, her heart slowly breaking in half. It was bad enough that Bulma had forgotten to tell her about the Dragon Balls flying away, but now they were just rocks! She was starting to think she'd never see her grandfather's four star ball again.

Goku wasn't the only one taking the news badly. Yamucha felt like she was about to cry. She'd come so close to relieving herself of this affliction and yet now she was back to square one! _Great!_ she thought miserably. _Another year of being scared of boys!_

"How dare you ruin my dreams of word conquest!" Pilaf's shrill voice cried from the speaker against the wall. "You have sealed your doom! But don't worry," he paused to laugh evilly. "Pilaf is a mild and tender master... so I'll let you die very _slowly_. You might have already noticed that your ceiling is a sheet of glass. The afternoon sun is brutal here and will turn your cell into an oven! Shrivel up and die!" With a menacing cackle the blue monster's voice disappeared, leaving the group to panic.

Even with the combination of Goku's Kamehameha and Yamucha's Rogafufuken, the walls would not give in. Soon the group resigned themselves to their fates, realizing there was nothing left to do but wait for death.

Oolong frowned as he noticed Puar staring longly out the glass ceiling. "Puar, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm just looking at the moon," Puar sighed.

"How can you care about the moon at a time like this?"

"It's a full moon that's how," the cat explained. "I want to see something pretty before I die."

"A full moon, huh?" Goku said, remembering what her grandfather had told her when she was younger. "A horrible monster comes when the moon is full, you know?" she informed her cell mates

Bulma scoffed, rolling his eyes in annoyance at the girl's words. "Oh yeah, a werewolf I bet. This is no time for campfire stories."

"It's true!" Goku insisted. "My Grampa _died_ from being stepped on by that monster."

Yamucha felt her ears perk up at Goku's comment. "You're telling me it _smashed_ the legendary martial arts master Son Gohan!?"

"An' my house!" she continued. "An' the trees! _Everything_!"

By this point, Goku had gained the full attention of her fellow captives. The group trembled in fear at the idea of something that had not only destroyed the girl's home, but also her legendary grandfather. "What kind of monster was it?" Oolong asked.

"I didn't see it," Goku explained. "I was asleep."

Oolong raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You slept through your house being smashed?"

"Grampa always used to say," the girl continued, ignoring the pig's question. "'Don't look at the full moon.' Only, I don't know what me _lookin'_ at it could do. I wonder if the monster comes out around here, too..." Goku's words suddenly faded away once she noticed that Bulma and the others had all moved as far away from her as possible. She watched in confusion as the group huddled together in a far corner of the cell, quaking with fear. "What's wrong?"

"I-it can't be," Yamucha trembled, clinging to the wall for dear life.

"T-t-tell me something, Son-kun," Bulma asked the child, unable to keep the terror out of his voice, "Th-the night your Grampa died... d-did you look at the m-moon?"

"Yeah," Goku giggled sheepishly. "He told me not to, but when I went to pee... well..."

"Wh-what do you think?" Yamucha whispered to Bulma hesitantly, for the first time trembling from something other than being in close proximity to a cute boy her age.

Bulma knew exactly what was going on, but he didn't want to believe it. He knew Goku was a weird girl, super strong as well as super naive, but he couldn't (or rather, didn't want to) believe that she was actually a _monster_. "M-me?" he squeaked. "Wh-what do _you_ think?"

"I-I-I had a f-feeling she wasn't an ordinary girl," she began, pressing herself flat against the cool metal walls.

"'C-c-course it... it c-c-could be just a coincidence... couldn't it?"

"We g-gotta test it," Oolong suggested as Puar clung to the top of his scalp in fear. "Show her the full m-moon... then we'll know."

"Yeah, but if it's true," Bulma reminded.

"You're right!" Oolong gasped, as realization dawned on him.

"That was too close," Yamucha said. "We can't let her look."

"Just don't look there, okay Son-kun?" Bulma instructed, pointing in the direction of the clearly visible full moon. "Don't look _there_!"

"Where?" Goku asked curiously as she instantly turned to look in the direction Bulma had been pointing. The group yelped in utter terror, certain that their lives were about to end very soon. Just as their cries of terror filled the small cell, they began to notice that Goku had instantly stiffened upon glancing at the full moon. A full minute seemed to pass before the girl began to tremble as a strange look suddenly crossed her features.

"H-hey G-Goku," Oolong began hesitantly, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. "What is it?"

"Th-That's not funny, Son-kun."

Without another word, Goku's body seemed to double in size as her wild hair stood up on end. Her clothes ripped to shreds as her body continued to expand until there was soon no room for the giant ape creature standing before them. With an earth shattering roar, the monster that had once been their friend raised it's head into the air, smashing the glass ceiling above them. By this point the group was certain that it was their friend who would bring an end to their short lives.


	11. The Great Ape

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.  
**Warnings:** Gender swap, humor, mild language

**Chapter 11** The Great Ape

Bulma and the others scurried around the room in panic as they tried their best to get away from the falling rocks and other debris that had once imprisoned them. Now that Goku had transformed into the giant ape monster, there was no where for them to stand safely, as the massive creature now took up the entire space.

"O-o-kay!" Yamucha shouted, trying her best to talk some reason into the monster. She could only hope that Goku's rational mind was still in control of the ape body. Although, from the way the monster had smashed most of the castle for no reason whatsoever, it didn't look like there was a rational side to her any longer. "Y-you smashed the roof! We can escape! Y-you can change back now! You can change back!"

Goku's only reply was to let out another massive roar as she continued to punch giant holes through out the castle.

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"Whazza racket?" Pilaf groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his blurry eyes. Those damned kids had been screaming at the top of their lungs for quite some time now. Couldn't those brats simply except their fate quietly and allow the future ruler of the world to get some sleep.

"Gettin' rowdy are they?" Mai groaned, as she glared in the direction of the noise.

"The nerve of them," Shuu agree irritably

Yet before Pilaf could order his men to do something about the noisy brats, a gigantic furry fist came smashing through the roof, destroying the exterior wall of the castle.

"What's happening!?" Pilaf screeched as he scurried away from the monstrous form looming over them. "What is that?"

Before he could say another word, the giant ape began grabbing at their beds, tossing them in the air. Fortunately, Pilaf and his henchmen managed to get away and out of the room before the beast could crush them.

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"Get out!" Yamucha ordered as she helped her friends jump off of the half wall that Goku had now smashed wide open. "Or else we're done for!"

Bulma had just barely managed to slip down the wall when he suddenly felt a strong arm wrap around his waist and lift him clean off the ground. He looked up to see that Yamucha had tucked him along with Oolong and Puar under her arms and was carrying them away from their feral friend.

"Quit dawdling!" the young woman ordered as she carried them with no visible signs of strain. Bulma felt his eyes nearly tripled in size at the feat. Apparently Yamucha was much stronger than he had expected. He'd have to really step up his game if he was ever going to win over the desert bandit.

By the time they were safely on the sandy terrain, Yamucha had let her friends go, forcing them to run on their own power. They sprinted for a good half mile before Bulma turned to see Goku lifting a large section of the castle and hurled it in their direction.

"Heads up!" Bulma cried as he used all of his strength to shove Yamucha away from the massive rocks that were currently flying right towards them.

A cloud of dust and smoke engulfed the group as the collision knocked them all off of their feet and sent them tumbling a good foot in the air.

Yamucha gasped when the dust had settled, revealing how close they had come to being crushed by their own friend. "That was too close," she trembled.

"That stupid Goku," Oolong grumbled as he hoisted himself off the ground.

"No point chewing her out now," Yamucha reminded. "We'd better get away from here."

"Hey! Hey!"

Yamucha turned and was stunned to discover that the upper half of Bulma's body was calling out to him from underneath what had once been a tower in Pilaf's castle. "I'm trapped," he informed the group weakly.

The desert bandit's eyes widened as she suddenly remembered how Bulma had shoved her just before the shattered castle had made impact with the ground. It was obvious to her now that the boy had gone out of his way to actually save her. Her heart swelled at the knowledge. Someone had actually tried to protect her. The young woman was forced to push the tender thoughts away for a moment as she rushed to the boy's side. She grunted, unable to get a good grip on the stone.

"It's no use!" she cried in disappointment. "It's not giving an inch!"

Just as she spoke, her ears suddenly caught the sound of yet another massive roar coming from behind them, only now it was much louder and followed by enormous stomps that shook the ground beneath them.

"She's coming!" Oolong screeched "We're going to be smashed!"

It was then that an idea suddenly came to Puar. She didn't know if it would work, but she had remembered what had happened to Goku when Gyu-Mao's son had pulled her tail. Her tail was her weakness, so if they cut if off, she just might turn back to normal. "Yamucha-sama!" she cried. "Her tail! Her weakness!"

"Of course," she gasped, understanding what Puar was thinking. In just the blink of an eye, Yamucha took off like a shot, making sure to avoid coming towards Goku's giant feet as she headed for the girl's tail. _But does she have the same weakness in monster form?_ she wondered, just as she wrapped her arms around the girl's tail and gave it a tight squeeze.

Goku froze, mere inches away from crushing the still trapped Bulma. The giant ape's body trembled weakly and her roar had quieted to no more than a growl. It had done the trick! She was paralyzed from head to toe!

"Quickly Puar!" Yamucha ordered, not certain how long the paralysis would last. "Turn into a pair of scissors!"

"Yes ma'am!" Puar replied obediently, and with a cloud of smoke, she reappeared as a giant pair of scissors.

In her weakened state, it only took Puar one good _snip_ for Goku's tail to come clean off. Her companions watched in awe as the great ape reverted back into the small girl they all knew.

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Night quickly turned into day, and by the first light of the next morning, the group found themselves wide awake, yet completely exhausted. Bulma had taken off his shirt and slipped it over Goku's naked body. He had asked Oolong to give Goku the panties he'd received from Shenlong, but the pig would not give up his new prized possession. So instead, Bulma had asked Yamucha to watch over the sleeping Goku, in order to make sure Oolong didn't try to take a peak at the vulnerable girl while they all slept.

Yamucha sighed as she looked down at the sleeping Goku, cradling the girl in her arms the way a mother would her child. It was strange that just a few hours ago, this peaceful little girl had nearly killed them all.

"Sheesh," Oolong sneered as he glared at Goku's unconscious body. "What this dope put us through..."

"Oh, cut her some slack," Yamucha chuckled as she brushed a stray strand of hair away from Goku's face. "She did get us out of prison, didn't she?"

Bulma frowned as he looked over at the two girls. His heart ached and his eyes were burning from lack of sleep and forcing back unshed tears. Who would have figured that dear, sweet Goku had actually been the one to end her own grandfather's life? If the girl ever found out the truth... "Guess we shouldn't tell her that _she_ was the monster that squashed her grandpa," he said quietly.

"So what _is_ she?" Oolong asked. "Some kind of space alien?"

"Whatever she is, she won't be dangerous like that now without her tail," Yamucha pointed out.

"Thank goodness," Bulma sighed wearily.

"Hey! She's waking up!"

Goku yawned as she began to fidget in Yamucha's arms.

"Morning," Oolong said flatly.

"G'morning!" Goku giggled as Yamucha let her down to stand on her own two feet. "Where are _my_ clothes?" she asked suddenly when she noticed her current state of dress. Fortunately, the shirt Bulma had given her was long enough to go down well past the girl's knees, covering her modesty completely (not that she had any).

"You don't remember anything?" Yamucha asked in surprise.

"'Bout what?" Just as the words left her lips, the girl toppled over, landing on her back side with an "oof!"

"What happened?" Oolong asked curiously.

"Lost my balance for some reason," she explained as she struggled back onto her own two feet.

"Funny what happens when you don't have a tail," Yamucha laughed. "You'll get used to it."

"Huh?" Goku blinked. "My tail?" Reaching underneath her shirt, she was shocked when instead of grasping her furry tail, her hands were met with smooth skin. "It's gone!" she howled in shock. "Oh well."

"You don't let much worry you, huh?" Oolong asked dryly.

"Well, where's my Nyoibo?"

"It must be buried in that wreckage somewhere," Yamucha commented, pointing back at what remained of Pilaf's castle. As soon as Yamucha said that, Goku took off to search through the rubble, falling onto her face every few steps.

"So what're we gonna do now?" Oolong asked Bulma as he slipped his hands in his pockets. "It'll be a year before the Dragon Balls are traceable again, so we might as well go our separate ways, right?"

"I guess so," Bulma shrugged. The city boy sighed as he considered his options. School would be starting again soon and his parents were probably worried sick about him, especially since he hadn't exactly told them where he was going or what he'd be doing. Worst of all, he'd have to wait an entire year before getting his wish granted. He sighed. "Great, another year without the perfect babe of a girlfriend."

"Wake up, Puar," Yamucha called softly as she rubbed the small cat's ears. "We're going home." She watched as the small shape shifter blinked awake, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She couldn't help but feel more than a little disappointed that she had gone so far only to end up with nothing to show for it. _Another year of boy-phobia. At this rate, I'll never get married..._

At that exact moment, Bulma and Yamucha's eyes connected. The two blushed, turning away from each other. It suddenly occurred to Yamucha that she'd easily been able to converse with Bulma without having a panic attack for some time now. Not to mention how the boy had put himself in danger just to rescue her. The girl felt her cheeks redden as she peaked up at the teenaged boy through her eyelashes.

"Um, Bulma," Yamucha began, feeling her heart pounding in her chest like a jack hammer. "Uh... what do you think abou-"

Before the girl could finish her sentence, Bulma grabbed her by the back of her neck and slammed their lips together.

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"I found it!" Goku cheered happily as she raced back towards her friends, Nyoibo firmly in hand. She still had a lot of questions. Like where her clothes went, or how her tail got cut off, or even why the castle they had been trapped in was now a pile of rubble, but all that really mattered to her was the fact that she had found her Grampa's staff. "Lookee! I found it!"

The girl came to a slow halt when she saw Oolong sneering darkly at Yamucha and Bulma. "What is it, Oolong?"

"Disgusting, that's what," the shape shifting pig said as he pointed towards the happy couple.

Goku blinked in confusion as she looked over at Yamucha and Bulma as they held hands, giggling happily as Puar waved her tiny little hands in the air in delight. "What game is that?" she wondered.

The trio stopped their celebrations when they noticed Goku's return. "Oh, guess what Son-kun!" Bulma said breathlessly. "We've decided to go to the city! Wanna come with us? A cute lil monkey girl like you will be a real hit with the boys!"

"I'm gonna go to the Turtle guy's place," Goku informed them.

Bulma cringed at the girl's announcement. He knew exactly what kind of guy the Turtle Hermit was and didn't like the idea of poor Goku being alone on a deserted island with the dirty old man. "Are you sure that's what you want to do, Son-kun?"

"Yep," she giggled. "I wanna train and get a lot stronger."

"Well, okay, but if he tries to make you do anything weird, you head for Metro West and come find me." Goku nodded slowly, confused by the boy's words. "Well, what about you Oolong? You want to come to the city with us?"

"Are there a lot of girls there?"

"Tons!" Bulma replied cheerfully. "Too bad none of them'll like a snotty little pervert like you, though."

"You could have stopped at 'tons'!" Oolong growled. "Well it's not like I'm rich with options. I guess I'll tag along."

"And next year," Goku began, smiling from ear to ear, "let's hunt for Dragon Balls again, 'kay?"

Yamucha giggled as Bulma wrapped his arms around the girl's small waist, bringing her closer towards his thin frame. "I don't think we'll be needing Dragon Balls anymore," Bulma chuckled.

Goku pouted at the boy's response. "But how am I gonna find the ball Grampa left me? I don't know how to trace it."

"Not a problem," Bulma announced as he pulled out his Radar from his pocket. "I'll give you the Dragon Radar. One year from now, press this and you should get a signal."

"Well, I guess we should get going," Yamucha said as she pulled out a capsule from her pocket. With a click, she tossed the capsule a few yards away. Once the smoke cleared, a capsule plane stood before them, ready to take the group to the city. "Goku," Yamucha began as she shook the little girl's hand. "I hope you become as great as Muten Roshi-sama himself."

"Thanks," she giggled, returning the gesture. "_Kinto'un_!" The little yellow cloud flew through the air before appearing before its mistress. Goku giggled as she climbed on top of the candy cloud. "Okay, to the Turtle guy's place!"

With that, the group of friends headed off in different directions. None of them knew if their paths would ever cross again, but one thing was for sure, and that was that they'd always treasure the memories that they'd shared.


End file.
